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Technology has significantly changed our world. Sexual imagery and encounters can now be accessed anywhere, anytime, using portable electronic devices. Users can generate a stream of graphic pornography, a wide variety of virtual sexual activities, and casual, anonymous, or paid-for sexual encounters with a click or a tap. Simply put, we have greater access to highly stimulating sexual content, and potential sexual partners, with much less built-in accountability. Porn addicts are especially vulnerable to the lure of digital technology and the seemingly endless array of stimulation it provides. Research suggests that cyber-porn addicts spend at least eleven or twelve hours per week online viewing porn. Today, all forms of sex addiction are technology driven--from porn websites to webcams to casual sex hook-up apps found on smartphones. Sex addicts organize their lives around the pursuit of sexual activity with self or others, spending inordinate amounts of time viewing and masturbating to porn or planning, pursuing, and engaging in sex acts. At the same time, they neglect important relationships, work, and personal responsibilities. Overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and remorse invade when the acting out ends. While it's complicated, recovery is possible. "Always Turned On" shows readers how to turn those temptations off while providing practical long-term solutions for recovery. Robert Weiss, MSW, is a therapist, international speaker, and regular blogger on Psych Central and the "Huffington Post." Jennifer P. Schneider, MD, PhD, is a physician, international
speaker, and the author of nine books.
According to an increasingly popular personality system called the Enneagram, there are nine basic types of people in the world. Each Type sees the world through a different lens, and has different goals, fears, challenges, priorities, and motivations. Once you know the Type of each member of a couple, you have a very good idea of what are likely to be the strengths and challenges of that pairing, and what issues are most likely to come up again and again for them. This book describes each of the 9 Types and how they are expressed within a relationship. This is followed by a separate chapter for each of the 45 possible pairings of these 9 personality types. They help the couple understand where they might get stuck and how they can better work out their differences. The books is based on reports by actual couples of each combination of types, and each chapter has quotations from the couple describing what a relationship of that combination of types is like. Each chapter ends with a few questions for the couple of that particular combination to discuss. This book can be considered a reference book. Although it is very long (555 pages), the average reader can be expected to read through the description of the 9 types, figure out their type and that of their mate, and then turn to the chapter that describes their specific combination. You don't have to know anything about the Enneagram system before starting the book The descriptions are very accessible, and will be useful for all readers.
Drs. Schneider and Corley's groundbreaking 2002 workbook, Disclosing Secrets, addressed the impact of disclosure on both addicts and their partners. Their subsequent research showed that the impact of disclosure is very different for partners than addicts. Surviving Disclosure, helps partners better understand the trauma resulting from the addict's behaviors and offers a step-by-step guide for how to begin the healing process, prepare for the impact of living with an addict (even an addict in recovery), and deal with shame, anger and fear. The book describes what to tell the children and others, how to promote self-care and well-being no matter what the addict does, and how to set boundaries as part of rebuilding trust. Relationships can heal and partners can thrive after disclosure.
Based on the latest research of the impact of disclosure, this updated and rewritten edition of Disclosing Secrets presents the best approach for addressing one of the most difficult challenges any sex addict must face - sharing information about his or her sex addiction. Drs. Corley and Schneider take us step by step through the painful, even excruciating process of revealing sensitive secrets related to any addiction, especially sex addiction. The reader will learn what, when and how to tell, who to involve, what (if anything) to tell the children, and what information to share at work and in the community. While serving as a guidebook for this very personal step towards recovery, the book also offers advice about rebuilding trust and repairing relationships. Clearly, there is hope that relationships can be strengthened after disclosure.
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