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Based on the latest research of the impact of disclosure, this
updated and rewritten edition of Disclosing Secrets presents the
best approach for addressing one of the most difficult challenges
any sex addict must face - sharing information about his or her sex
addiction. Drs. Corley and Schneider take us step by step through
the painful, even excruciating process of revealing sensitive
secrets related to any addiction, especially sex addiction. The
reader will learn what, when and how to tell, who to involve, what
(if anything) to tell the children, and what information to share
at work and in the community. While serving as a guidebook for this
very personal step towards recovery, the book also offers advice
about rebuilding trust and repairing relationships. Clearly, there
is hope that relationships can be strengthened after disclosure.
Drs. Schneider and Corley's groundbreaking 2002 workbook,
Disclosing Secrets, addressed the impact of disclosure on both
addicts and their partners. Their subsequent research showed that
the impact of disclosure is very different for partners than
addicts. Surviving Disclosure, helps partners better understand the
trauma resulting from the addict's behaviors and offers a
step-by-step guide for how to begin the healing process, prepare
for the impact of living with an addict (even an addict in
recovery), and deal with shame, anger and fear. The book describes
what to tell the children and others, how to promote self-care and
well-being no matter what the addict does, and how to set
boundaries as part of rebuilding trust. Relationships can heal and
partners can thrive after disclosure.
According to an increasingly popular personality system called the
Enneagram, there are nine basic types of people in the world. Each
Type sees the world through a different lens, and has different
goals, fears, challenges, priorities, and motivations. Once you
know the Type of each member of a couple, you have a very good idea
of what are likely to be the strengths and challenges of that
pairing, and what issues are most likely to come up again and again
for them. This book describes each of the 9 Types and how they are
expressed within a relationship. This is followed by a separate
chapter for each of the 45 possible pairings of these 9 personality
types. They help the couple understand where they might get stuck
and how they can better work out their differences. The books is
based on reports by actual couples of each combination of types,
and each chapter has quotations from the couple describing what a
relationship of that combination of types is like. Each chapter
ends with a few questions for the couple of that particular
combination to discuss. This book can be considered a reference
book. Although it is very long (555 pages), the average reader can
be expected to read through the description of the 9 types, figure
out their type and that of their mate, and then turn to the chapter
that describes their specific combination. You don't have to know
anything about the Enneagram system before starting the book The
descriptions are very accessible, and will be useful for all
readers.
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