Here's lookin' at you, kid…

Called upon to make a toast at your daughter’s dirthday? Your boss's baby shower? Your brother's wedding? Your sister's divorce? Don't worry about what to say. Pour everyone a drink and relax. Your wit is about to get sharpened for you…

May you live as long as you want, and not want as long as you live…

This entertaining and comprehensive guide—fully indexed by category, occasion and contributor—includes more than 1,300 heartwarming, hilarious, cynical, sentimental, and exotic toasts. It is the perfect party companion, whether you’re saluting good health, bad habits, old enemies, or new friends.

To all our guests who make us happy, some by coming and others by going…

Featuring all the right words for all right occasions by Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Dorothy Parker, Mark Twain, Groucho Marx, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, W.C. Fields, Bette Davis, Jack London, Robert Frost, Ogden Nash, Humphrey Bogart, Ingrid Bergman, John Barrymore, P.J. O'Rourke, Miss Piggy, Emily Dickinson, William Shakespeare, Mae West, Walter Winchell, Socrates, Benjamin Franklin, Victor Hugo, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Gloria Steinhem and hundreds of others who never worried about being at a loss for words.

And here's to living well, 'tis the best revenge…

(Ahem)…I think it was a wise old soul who once said…

Never eat more than you can lift. —Miss Piggy

Here's to age. Do not resist growing old, many are denied the privilege. —Anonymous

A Merry Christmas this December to a lot of folks I don't remember. —Franklin Adams

I have known many, liked a few, loved only one, so here's to you. —Anonymous

Forgive your enemies, but remember their names! —John F. Kennedy

Here's to happiness, it sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. —John Barrymore

Here's to love which doesn't make the world go round, but it sure makes the ride worthwhile. —Mae West

I know the things I know, and do the things I do, And if you do not like me so to hell, my love, with you! —Dorothy Parker

Let us toast the fools; but for them the rest of us could not succeed. —Mark Twain

I used to know a clever toast, but pshaw, I cannot think of it. So fill your glass to anything, and bless your souls I'll drink to it. —Wallace Irwin