Following the birth of her first children, twin boys, Jessica Cornwell collapsed in a fever. Rushed back to hospital, she was initially dismissed, before a life-threatening infection was diagnosed. Alone, recovering, watching her body bruise and break, a curious thing happened: she stopped feeling. At home, the numbness remained. Nursing her boys through jaundice, learning to breastfeed, slowly re-emerging into a world where other mothers seemed to cope, Jessica hid her secret - she felt no love, only fear. Worse, vivid memories began to surface, of moments in her past she thought buried. Jessica began to name, one by one, the shadows that returned to haunt her first year as a mother. And in claiming back the words, she fought to claim back her life and the love she bore her young family. Birth Notes is the story - luminous, breathtaking and courageous - of forging a self from fragments. With eloquent rage and searing honesty, it speaks for the unvoiced and shines a light on maternal mental health. It is the love story of a mother for her children and a woman for herself.

'I SAVOURED EVERY WORD' ABI DARE A REDEMPTIVE TALE OF THE POWER AND WISOM OF WOMEN'S BODIES' LEAH HAZARD 'MAGNIFICENT: A WORK OF TRUTH' SUSIE ORBACH 'FILLED ME WITH HOPE' DR ELINOR CLEGHORN 'SO MANY WOMEN WILL FEEL LESS ALONE AFTER READING THIS BOOK' KATIE WARD Following the birth of her first children, twin boys, Jessica Cornwell collapsed in a fever. Rushed back to hospital, she was initially dismissed, before a life-threatening infection was diagnosed. Alone, recovering, watching her body bruise and break, a curious thing happened: she stopped feeling. At home, the numbness remained. Nursing her boys through jaundice, learning to breastfeed, slowly re-emerging into a world where other mothers seemed to cope, Jessica hid her secret - she felt no love, only fear. Worse, vivid memories began to surface, of moments in her past she thought buried. Jessica began to name, one by one, the shadows that returned to haunt her first year as a mother. And in claiming back the words, she fought to claim back her life and the love she bore her young family. Birth Notes is the story - luminous, breathtaking and courageous - of forging a self from fragments. With eloquent rage and searing honesty, it speaks for the unvoiced and shines a light on maternal mental health. It is the love story of a mother for her children and a woman for herself.

'When a woman gives birth, she may, unwittingly, remember violent things. Ugly things. Unspoken things.' After her twins were born, Jessica Cornwell stopped feeling. Plagued by memories of a traumatic birth, wrestling with ongoing physical pain and the brutal demands of caring for two tiny babies, she struggled to experience joy and love. Instead, she was consumed by fear and haunted by recurrent thoughts of blood and danger. It was only when she received a diagnosis of post-partum PTSD and began therapy that Jessica was able to confront the secrets in her past. As she began to understand how her experience of birth had triggered her traumatic memories of sexual assault, she was finally able to integrate those memories into her identity as a mother and a survivor - and begin to heal. 'A redemptive tale of the power and wisdom of women's bodies' Leah Hazard 'This book undid me... and filled me with hope' Elinor Cleghorn 'Magnificent... a work of truth, understanding, scholarship and hope' Susie Orbach 'An astonishing memoir... about the intersection between birth trauma and sexual trauma, medical misogyny' Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett