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A hilariously irreverent and startlingly insightful astrology guide
for lesbians.
Jill Dearman is a breakthrough astrologer for our time. No one has
approached the stars with her sass and class ever before Her guide
to astrology for lesbians is lively, revealing--and naughty
Sections include: in life, in bed, how to seduce her, doing her and
dating her, how to last over the long haul, how to get rid of her,
and the three faces of each sign.
How to get rid of an Aquarius woman: Ms. Aquarius will pack her
bags soon after you start invading her personal space and drowning
her in too much nonstop and irrational cemotion. Ms. Aquarius hates
to feel trapped, so if you slowly take away all her freedoms, you
will be watching her walk out the door faster than you can sing
"This is the dawning of the..."
The Cancer woman is intensely emotiona...and her moods change with
the tides. Not that you can every completely figure her out. Would
you dare to assume you could understand the sea or fully absorb or
comprehend a beautiful piece of music? Or course not, you silly
lesbian. So don't patronize this lovely woman.
But getting rid of a Cancer woman: Please don't be a cad and pull
off the old "I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes (or a bag of
Kitty Litter)" and never come back routine. She'll have your mother
sitting with her and holding her hand, worrying, before you've made
it past the border.
And a complete compatibility profile of each astrological
combination:
Take Aries and Cancer: The best par? They can be fiercely loyal and
protective of each other. The worst part? They instinctively know
how to hurt each other's feelings and often do, in a most brutal
way. Ms. Aries, ruled by fire strikes quickly and forcefully and
without thinking. "Don't each that doughnut It'll make you fat " Ms
Cancer, ruled by water, knows how to create a mood of subtle
emotional torture. "I don't feel like being touched...No, I don't
want to be alone. Can't we just sit together in the same room and
not talk and not touch and not make such a big deal about
it?"
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