Everyone knows what the 'G-spot' is, of course. It is a woman's most sensitive and vulnerable physical area. Although men do not have a G-spot per se, both men and women have what Joan Lachkar calls a 'V-spot' a concentration of highly charged emotional sensitivities emanating from early childhood experiences that remain raw and unhealed. These experiences might involve the parent who abandoned the child at an early age, the mother who smothered the child with too much affection, or the child who was neglected and never touched or soothed. Another source can be a parent or caretaker who drills the message into the child, 'You're not good enough, not deserving enough, too demanding, ' etc. For men it could be an emotionally castrating, controlling, dominating, overbearing mother. Many authors have written and talked about emotional abuse, but until The V-Spot no one has given this area of volcanic emotion a name or has written about it in terms accessible to layman and professional alike. Getting in contact with the V-spot is the only way to break away from emotional abuse and begin the healing process. No other book pinpoints not only what ignites the V-spot but also how and why the resulting affect-explosion interferes with judgment, reality, thinking, and perception. The reader will be astonished to discover how tracing the source of one's V-spot strengthens one's capacity to make complex decisions and lessens the repetitive cycle of pain, anxiety, confusion, and turmoil that blindness to one's V-spot can produce."

In this second edition of her groundbreaking book, Dr. Joan Lachkar addresses the ever-changing faces and phases of narcissism within the context of marital therapy and discusses the new developments in the treatment of marital conflict. Drawing from many different theoretical frameworks, mainly self-psychology (Kohut) and object relations (Klein), the works of D.W, Winnicott, and Kernberg are expanded to further explain why couples stay in painful, conflictual, never-ending relationships (traumatic bonding). The new chapters, case illustrations, and updated treatment sequences are invaluable to both beginning and experienced clinicians. The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple is an essential text for every marital therapist, offering an improved understanding of marital pathology within the framework of our changing world.

In How to Talk to a Borderline, Joan Lachkar introduces Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and outlines the challenges and difficulties it presents to clinicians. She expands current understanding of BPD by outlining eight different kinds of borderline personality disorders and how each of these requires specific communication techniques and methods. Case examples are offered throughout the text and in some cases describe the kinds of partners borderlines attract. This book offers new approaches to communicating, working with, and treating borderline personality disorders while integrating more contemporary treatment methods.

Marriage and couple therapists see clients with broken relationships and bonds all the time; those who were once madly in love can grow indifferent, people change, and couples go into sessions feeling depressed, traumatized, and sometimes abused by their partners. Joan Lachkar examines the vicissitudes of love relations by taking into account aspects of aggression, cruelty, sadism, envy, and other primitive defenses lurking in the shadows of love and intimacy. Each chapter revolves around a specific situational conflict, with guidelines and treatment suggestions offered to the therapist. Numerous vignettes and detailed descriptions of theoretical technique, methodology, and diagnostic distinctions are included throughout the book to help readers see theory in action. The theoretical concepts drawn on include psychoanalysis, object relations, self-psychology, attachment theory, DBT, mindfulness, and others, with a heavy emphasis on listening and non-verbal and verbal communication throughout.

Marriage and couple therapists see clients with broken relationships and bonds all the time; those who were once madly in love can grow indifferent, people change, and couples go into sessions feeling depressed, traumatized, and sometimes abused by their partners. Joan Lachkar examines the vicissitudes of love relations by taking into account aspects of aggression, cruelty, sadism, envy, and other primitive defenses lurking in the shadows of love and intimacy. Each chapter revolves around a specific situational conflict, with guidelines and treatment suggestions offered to the therapist. Numerous vignettes and detailed descriptions of theoretical technique, methodology, and diagnostic distinctions are included throughout the book to help readers see theory in action. The theoretical concepts drawn on include psychoanalysis, object relations, self-psychology, attachment theory, DBT, mindfulness, and others, with a heavy emphasis on listening and non-verbal and verbal communication throughout.

The Disappearing Male by Joan Lachkar, PhD, provides a psychoanalytic/psychodynamic description of eight different kinds of men who "disappear" from relationships without warning or explanation. The term is not restricted to merely a "physical" disappearance but also to ones who emotionally disappear such as the "Robotic Man" described in the chapter of the OCD. Lachkar's personal, clinical, and professional experience have shown a number of women who have been vastly confused and hurt by the disappearing male. These men appear to be madly in love at the onset and then suddenly vanish without an explanation. Many of these women come into therapy sessions depressed, feeling traumatized, and abused by men who promise them the world, act as though they are the love of their lives, and then suddenly vanish without a call. By acknowledging the diagnostic distinctions of eight different types of disappearing men, this book can help to assist these women in recognizing the red flags and danger signs to prevent them from faltering in their relationship efforts. The Disappearing Male describes the symptoms of eight different diagnostic types of men that women frequently encounter. The symptoms and dynamics that are outlined in this book will vastly enhance an individual's capacity to become aware of the disappearing male "syndrome." This book is significant to the awareness and self-esteem of women in relationships, the dating world, and to the therapists that treat them.

Everyone knows what the "G-spot" is, of course. It is a woman's most sensitive and vulnerable physical area. Although men do not have a G-spot per se, both men and women have what Joan Lachkar calls a "V-spot" a concentration of highly charged emotional sensitivities emanating from early childhood experiences that remain raw and unhealed. These experiences might involve the parent who abandoned the child at an early age, the mother who smothered the child with too much affection, or the child who was neglected and never touched or soothed. Another source can be a parent or caretaker who drills the message into the child, "You're not good enough, not deserving enough, too demanding," etc. For men it could be an emotionally castrating, controlling, dominating, overbearing mother. Many authors have written and talked about emotional abuse, but until The V-Spot no one has given this area of volcanic emotion a name or has written about it in terms accessible to layman and professional alike. Getting in contact with the V-spot is the only way to break away from emotional abuse and begin the healing process. No other book pinpoints not only what ignites the V-spot but also how and why the resulting affect-explosion interferes with judgment, reality, thinking, and perception. The reader will be astonished to discover how tracing the source of one's V-spot strengthens one's capacity to make complex decisions and lessens the repetitive cycle of pain, anxiety, confusion, and turmoil that blindness to one's V-spot can produce."

Contents:
Introduction. The Narcissist and the Borderline. Theoretical Implications. The Couple: The Dance, the Drama, and the Bond. Marital Theatrics: The Psychodynamics of the Narcissistic/Borderline Couple. Dynamic Positions and Transference Formation. Group Psychology and the Narcissistic/Borderline Couple. Cross-Cultural Couples. Model of Treatment. Cases. Glossary. References.

The subject is emotional abuse-the ongoing process whereby one person attempts to destroy the will, needs, desires, or perceptions of another. The object is the well-educated, high-functioning professional woman. Dr. Joan Lachkar examines the origins and early warning signs of the psychological violation she describes as a dance between abuser and abused. She goes on to introduce typologies of each (the narcissistic or passive-aggressive abuser, the unentitled self) and to explore the bases for their collusive attachments. Addressing therapeutic functions like empathy, containment, and countertransference, and following a couple's evolution from a state of fusion through transitional two-ness to emerging separateness, dependent and interdependent, Dr. Lachkar applies her psychodynamic approach to treatment, informed by object relations and self psychology, and complete with guidelines for technique and practical suggestions for the couple.

In How to Talk to a Borderline, Joan Lachkar introduces Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and outlines the challenges and difficulties it presents to clinicians. She expands current understanding of BPD by outlining eight different kinds of borderline personality disorders and how each of these requires specific communication techniques and methods. Case examples are offered throughout the text and in some cases describe the kinds of partners borderlines attract. This book offers new approaches to communicating, working with, and treating borderline personality disorders while integrating more contemporary treatment methods.