"Hock the platinum. Take down the vacation photos. Cancel the joint checking account."

There's no question . . . Divorce Sucks. And perhaps no one knows that better than author Mary Jo Eustace, whose ex-husband Dean McDermott married Tori Spelling a mere thirty days after their divorce was finalized. One part tell-all and one part guide to get readers on their feet after a bitter breakup, this hilarious addition to the bestselling Sucks series tells everything readers don't want to know about divorce - from what a phone call with a lawyer will cost; to how to handle your newer, younger replacement; to what Hollywood divorcees are actually thinking when they watch their ex walk the red carpet with a millionairess. Sometimes horrifying, sometimes gratifying, and never merciful, this book will give readers an inside look at one of today's most public divorces while reminding them - hey, it could always be worse.

• That "glowing skin" everyone promised you looks remarkably similar to the hormonal acne you battled as a teen
• Your special bond with your husband? It means he can't sleep in the same room as you, thanks to your killer gas
• The lady at the grocery store remarks "it must be any day now " when you haven't finished your "second" trimester
• You debut the perfect name for your baby--which your mother-in-law immediately describes as "interesting" (complete with a wrinkled nose)

So whether you're looking for the scoop on hypnobirthing, you want to know a cure for your hemorrhoids, or you really just want a laugh (even if you might pee in your maternity leggings), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, gestationally miserable.

With the signature hilarity that has made the Sucks series a hit, Kimes and Laccinole tackle bedtime, naptime, and all the wakey-wake time on the way to a full night's sleep. Do you suffer from sleep deprivation because... --Your baby only dozes off in your arms--rendering you unable to move? --Your toddler refuses to nap and only goes to bed after five bedtime stories, three glasses of water, and the binkie that can never ever be washed? --One expert tells you to let them scream themselves to sleep, while another says the family bed is best? One thing's for sure: Nobody sleeps if the children don't. Amid all the conflicting advice, Bedtime Sucks is the only book to admit that trying to get your kid to sleep sure does suck! Inside, authors Joanne Kimes and Kathleen Laccinole cover: --Good sleep habits that start in the womb; --The Zen Commandments of getting the baby to sleep through the night; --Why the hand that rocks the cradle is the one that's constantly exhausted; and --Travel dos and don'ts, potty training troubles, how to juggle more than one sleepy child at a time, and more.

The success of Pregnancy Sucks and Pregnancy Sucks for Men has made Joanne Kimes a bona fide expert on the fine art of complaining - and dating can go on a lot longer than nine months. Dating Sucks is an indispensable resource to keep dignity and sanity intact through the hell fires of dating Includes: Meeting Men - from crazy matchmakers to nasty bars to the chaos of cyberspace The Directory of Duds - the guys who show up at the door and make the modern woman want to slam it Surviving the First Date - the hell she endures to get a free meal The Sexual Revulsion - the physical side of dating in the new millennium What's Good on TV - all the stuff she'd rather be doing than going on one more date