Everyone knows Uber drivers are expected to be courteous and attentive, both to their passengers and to those on the road. They are not expected to accept that invitation to the swinger party, flee the scene of a fatal accident, nor are they expected to be a convicted felon on probation. Unfortunately, this Joe Schmo is not your everyday Uber driver. I began sharing rides with the audacious hope to one day escape the road blocks stalling my merger onto the freeway of creative success. But when a typical shift U-turns into a series of detours involving herpes ridden riders, sexy sorority sisters, and blundering bank robbers, I arrive (at gunpoint) miles from my desired destination. ""Rideshares, Wrecks, and Sex: Confessions of a Convicted Uber Driver"" is based upon actual events that transpired over the year that I covertly drove for Uber while on probation. I confesses outlandish details in a highlight reel of wrecks (both car and train) and sex, effectively answering ""What's your craziest story?""