The kids are in bed, you've had a good meal and enough to drink. What now? You and your friends don't want to play Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit and you certainly don't want to watch television. So why not make your own fun by acting out these small and amusing plays? They will round off your evening nicely...Oh no they won't! Oh yes they will!

Here is a collection of short stories and doggerel, told by a man who, due to retirement, has too much time on his hands. There are simple tales of simple tasks, carried out by someone against whom everything and everyone seems to conspire, and for whom nothing is as good as it used to be. Nothing is straightforward and very little goes right. Whether it's riding on a toboggan with his granddaughter or taking his cat to the vets, the results are invariably the same - disaster.

Nestling in the countryside of middle England, is the village of Effington. It has a population of 143, but young Tracy Chantrelle, the village live wire, seems to be single-handedly working to raise that figure to 150. It is surrounded on two sides by agricultural land and on a third side there are many acres of woodland beloning to the Forestry Commission. Completing the borders, are tree-lined roads that connect us with out nearest neighbours residing in the semi-rural town of Bloxham. Many people express suprise that such a village as Effington exists in the area more associated with heavy industry, but exist it does and in many ways is similar to villages found in the countryside of Devon. There are a number of small shops, varying from a Bakery run by Gladys Wellings, Jim Roses's Hardware Store and a Butchers that is run by Jack (well hung) Bates. It has it's own church - St. Clarence le Lion - overseen by a vicar who has been there for almost five years. He is young, and full of energy and gives his all to his church and his parishioners. Everyone is very fond of him and he is the type of young man that every mother would want as a son - assuming that she didn't mind him being a trasvestite who enjoys dressing in women's clothing. He's very discrete and doesn't appear to wear anything out of the ordinary when on duty, but who knows what goes on under his cassock?

This book chronicles my early life, from my birth in 1948 in austerity Britain to leaving school in 1964. The book is written very much through my own eyes, evoking memories of a poor but happy childhood. Life in what is now a distant bygone age was a lot simpler, and any pleasures were something you whole heartedly embraced, as they did not come along too often. It has been said many times that everyone has a book in them, and had been at the back of my mind for many years, without a clear idea of what my book would be about. With hindsight I think the idea of this book was always there in my mind, as I remember vividly the first few lines which simply describe the end of my childhood, as I waited for the no 17 bus to take me home after my last football match. It was August 1964, and my first job awaited at the Cooperative Wholesale Society in Manchester. The Cooper family was probably no different from any other family on Pershore Road, working hard to survive in post war Britain, and my parents striving to bring up their children with relatively little money. My mother (our Mam) was the rock of the family, the glue that held it all together, and was fiercely protective of her children. My father I am sure had his demons, and only having one leg for almost 40 years of his life would not have been easy, both physically and psychologically. I did find it difficult to talk to him at times, and with hindsight regret not having had a closer relationship. The greater Cooper family were an interesting bunch, but had many secrets and numerous "fallings out". Things changed slowly in the 1950's, and this was epitomised in my school life. My first school Parkfield Infant/Primary was a throwback to the "old days" with some of my teachers having taught my mother, the maxim being "children should be seen but not heard". Then in the late 1950's I went to Hollin Secondary Modern School, and it was like "night and day", with much younger teachers, promoting inclusive learning. Football has always been an important part of my life, particularly my love of Oldham Athletic, who I started supporting in the late 1950's with my uncle Billy. I also loved playing the game in all kinds of situations and conditions, making many good friends along the way, some of these friendships lasting to this day. At times it was a struggle to write this book despite it being relatively short in length, but I am so glad I did - something which my children and grandchildren can remember me by.

The Welfare Revolution of the early 20th century did not start with Clement Attlee's Labour governments of 1945 to 1951 but had its origins in the Liberal government of forty years earlier. The British Welfare Revolution, 1906-14 offers a fresh perspective on the social reforms introduced by these Liberal governments in the years 1906 to 1914. Reforms conceived during this time created the foundations of the Welfare State and transformed modern Britain; they touched every major area of social policy, from school meals to pensions, the minimum wage to the health service. Cooper uses an innovative approach, the concept of the Counter-Elite, to explain the emergence of the New Liberalism and examines the research that was carried out to devise ways to meet each specific social problem facing Britain in the early 20th century. For example, a group of businessmen, including Booth and Rowntree, invented the poverty survey to pinpoint those living below the poverty line and encouraged a new generation of sociologists. This comprehensive single volume survey presents a new critical angle on the origins of the British welfare state and is an original analysis of the reforms and the leading personalities of the Liberal governments from the late Edwardian period to the advent of the First World War.

Placing emphasis on practical "how-to" guidance, this cutting-edge resource provides a first-hand, insider's perspective on the advent and evolution of smart grids in the 21st century. This book presents engineers, researchers, and students with the building blocks that comprise basic smart grids, including power plant, transmission substation, distribution, and meter automation. Moreover, this forward-looking volume explores the next step of this technology's evolution. It provides a detailed explanation of how an advanced smart grid incorporates demand response with smart appliances and management mechanisms for distributed generation, energy storage, and electric vehicles. This updated second edition focuses on the disruptive impact of DER. This new edition also includes a glossary with well over 100 acronyms and terms, acknowledging the tremendous challenge for a student of smart energy and smart grid to grasp this complex industry. Market Practicing power engineers, academics, researchers, industry analysts, and power regulators

This book (hardcover) is part of the TREDITION CLASSICS. It contains classical literature works from over two thousand years. Most of these titles have been out of print and off the bookstore shelves for decades. The book series is intended to preserve the cultural legacy and to promote the timeless works of classical literature. Readers of a TREDITION CLASSICS book support the mission to save many of the amazing works of world literature from oblivion. With this series, tredition intends to make thousands of international literature classics available in printed format again - worldwide.

"The Groom's Arrival" will guide you into the traditions and the Scriptures that form new insights into God's love story for mankind. It contains details from the Hebrew wedding tradition. The mysteries of this ancient tradition will enhance your understanding of the bride, the Church, and God's ultimate plan.

The author uses the wedding tradition forms a framework to bring together scriptures from Jesus' Olivet Discourse, the Days of Daniel, the Scroll of Revelation, and the End Times.

When you read about the ten elements of the wedding tradition, you will begin to see the beauty and purpose behind our finding a relationship with God in a new and exciting way. God's greatest desire for us is to be in relationship with Him.

The Carpenter of Galilee has been working on the wedding chamber, or chuppah, for His bride for nearly two thousand years. Remember He said, "I go to prepare a place for you..." In this book you are given a glimpse of what it will be like.

In the final chapters of the book of Revelation, "the Marriage Supper of the Lamb" is a headline event. Many love stories end with "and they lived happily ever after." This marriage supper is just a starting point for much more. The Bible gives more insight into Jesus' millennial reign than you might imagine. In The Groom's Arrival, you will discover many wonderful things about God's plan.

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

This is a memoir as wry, funny, moving and vivid as its inimitable subject himself. This book will be a joy for both lifelong fans and for a whole new generation. John Cooper Clarke is a phenomenon: Poet Laureate of Punk, rock star, fashion icon, TV and radio presenter, social and cultural commentator. At 5 feet 11 inches (32in chest, 27in waist), in trademark dark suit, dark glasses, with dark messed-up hair and a mouth full of gold teeth, he is instantly recognizable. As a writer his voice is equally unmistakable and his own brand of slightly sick humour is never far from the surface. I Wanna Be Yours covers an extraordinary life, filled with remarkable personalities: from Nico to Chuck Berry, from Bernard Manning to Linton Kwesi Johnson, Elvis Costello to Gregory Corso, Gil Scott Heron, Mark E. Smith and Joe Strummer, and on to more recent fans and collaborators Alex Turner, Plan B and Guy Garvey. Interspersed with stories of his rock and roll and performing career, John also reveals his boggling encyclopaedic take on popular culture over the centuries: from Baudelaire and Edgar Allan Poe to Pop Art, pop music, the movies, fashion, football and showbusiness – and much, much more, plus a few laughs along the way.

An illustrated history of St Stephen's Chapel in the Palace of Westminster, a building at the heart of British life for over 700 years. Begun in 1292, the royal chapel of St Stephen was the crowning glory of the old palace of Westminster – a place of worship for kings and a showcase of the finest architecture, ritual and music the Plantagenets could muster. But in 1548, as the Protestant Reformation reached its height, St Stephen's was given a new purpose as the House of Commons. Burned out in the great palace fire of 1834, the Commons chamber was then recreated on a remarkably similar medieval design, perpetuating a way of doing politics that is recognisable to this day. St Stephen's has been part of many lives over the centuries, from the medieval masons who worked through the Black Death to complete the chapel, to the generations of MPs who locked horns in the Commons chamber. Threading together religion, politics, art, architecture and narrative history, John Cooper tells the story of the lost chapel, an iconic building that reflects the national transition from medieval divine-right monarchy to modern parliamentary democracy.

Don't talk to me, miss, said her ladyship. "I don't want to hear any nonsense from you " The pretty, frightened girl who shared the drawing-room at this moment with Lady Linden of Cornbridge Manor House had not dared to open her lips. But that was her ladyship's way, and "Don't talk to me " was a stock expression of hers. Few people were permitted to talk in her ladyship's presence. In Cornbridge they spoke of her with bated breath as a "rare masterful woman," and they had good cause. Masterful and domineering was Lady Linden of Cornbridge, yet she was kind-hearted, though she tried to disguise the fact. In Cornbridge she reigned supreme, men and women trembled at her approach. She penetrated the homes of the cottagers, she tasted of their foods, she rated them on uncleanliness, drunkenness, and thriftlessness; she lectured them on cooking.

Bulldogs and Bulldog Breeding (A Vintage Dog Books Breed Classic) Originally published in 1905, this extremely rare early work on the bulldog is almost impossible to find in its first edition. VINTAGE DOG BOOKS have republished it, using the original text and photographs, as part of their CLASSIC BREED BOOKS series. The author was a highly respected breeder of the day. The book's 164 pages cover all aspects of the Bulldog. Beginning with the history of the breed, it moves on to discuss buying, breeding and showing amongst many other topics. It also features over 60 photographs of champion bulldogs of the day. Included in the original text are a number of adverts featuring stud dogs and dog food - all with additional photographs of bulldogs. This is a fascinating read for any Bulldog enthusiast or historian of the breed but also contains much information that is still useful and practical today. Many of the earliest breed books, particularly those dating back to the 1900s, are now extremely scarce and very expensive. VINTAGE DOG BOOKS are reprinting these classic works in affordable, high quality, modern editions. These editions are republished using the original text and artwork CHAPTERS: I: BUYING A BULLDOG - THE MARKET VALUE OF BULLDOGS - SALE AND EXCHANGE ADVERTISMENTS PROTECTION FROM FRAUD - THE CANINE PRESS. II: THE BULLDOG CLUB OF ENGLAND - A DESCRIPTION OF THE BULLDOG - DEFECTS - DUDLEY NOSES - BUTTON EARS - EXPRESSION. III: THE BROOD BITCH - SHOW BITCHES AND BROOD BITCHES - SUITABLE MATING - THE AGE AT WHICH TO BREED - PEDIGREE - THE STUD DOG. IV: WHELPING - PERSONAL ATTENDANCE - THE NEED FOR A FOSTER-MOTHER - EXCHANGING PUPPIES - FOOD AND EXERCISE FOR THE SUCKLING BITCH V: FEEDING - EXERCISING - TEACHING PUPPIES TO EXERCISE - THE WHIP. VI: KENNELING AND DISINFECTING. VII: SOME DISEASES OF DOGS. VIII. SOME PROMINENT DOGS OF THE DAY. IX. CONCLUSION.

Appropriate for all upper-level courses in basic principles, applications, and behavioural research methods. This text provides an accurate, comprehensive, and contemporary description of applied behavior analysis in order to help students acquire fundamental knowledge and skills. Applied Behavior Analysis provides a comprehensive, in-depth discussion of the field, offering a complete description of the principles and procedures for changing and analysing socially important behaviour. The 3rd Edition features coverage of advances in all three interrelated domains of the sciences of behavior-theoretical, basic research, and applied research. It also includes updated and new content on topics such as negative reinforcement (Ch. 12), motivation (Ch. 16), verbal behavior (Ch. 18), functional behavioural assessment (Ch. 25), and ethics (Ch. 29).

'Yes, it was be there or be square as, clad in the slum chic of the hipster, he issued the slang anthems of the zip age in the desperate esperanto of the bop. John Cooper Clarke: the name behind the hairstyle, the words walk in the grooves hacking through the hi-fi paradise of true luxury.' Punk. Poet. Pioneer. The Bard of Salford's seminal collection is as scabrous, wry & vivid now as it was when first published over 25 years ago. 'The godfather of British performance poetry' Daily Telegraph.

The godfather of British performance poetry - Daily Telegraph The Luckiest Guy Alive is the first new book of poetry from Dr John Cooper Clarke for several decades - and a brilliant, scabrous, hilarious collection from one of our most beloved and influential writers and performers. From the 'Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman' to a hymn to the seductive properties of the pie - by way of hand-grenade haikus, machine-gun ballads and a meditation on the loss of Bono's leather pants - The Luckiest Guy Alive collects stunning set pieces, tried-and-tested audience favourites and brand new poems to show Cooper Clarke still effortlessly at the top of his game. Cooper Clarke's status as the 'Emperor of Punk Poetry' is certainly confirmed here, but so is his reputation as a brilliant versifier, a poet of vicious wit and a razor-sharp social satirist. Effortlessly immediate and contemporary, full of hard-won wisdom and expert blindsidings, it's easy to see why the good Doctor has continued to inspire several new generations of performers from Alex Turner to Plan B: The Luckiest Guy Alive shows one of the most compelling poets of the age on truly exceptional form. 'John Cooper Clarke is one of Britain's outstanding poets. His anarchic punk poetry has thrilled people for decades ... long may his slender frame and spiky top produce words and deeds that keep us on our toes and alive to the wonders of the world.' Sir Paul McCartney

This text provides an accurate, comprehensive, and contemporary description of applied behavior analysis in order to help readers acquire fundamental knowledge and skills Applied Behavior Analysis provides a comprehensive, in-depth discussion of the field, offering a complete description of the principles and procedures for changing and analyzing socially important behavior. The 3rd Edition features coverage of advances in all three interrelated domains of the sciences of behavior-theoretical, basic research, and applied research-and two new chapters, Equivalence-based Instruction (Ch. 19) and Engineering Emergent Learning with Nonequivalence Relations (Ch. 20). It also includes updated and new content on topics such as negative reinforcement (Ch. 12), motivation (Ch. 16), verbal behavior (Ch. 18), functional behavioral assessment (Ch. 27), and ethics (Ch. 31). The content of the text is now connected to the BCBA (R) and BCABA (R) Behavior Analyst Task List, 5th Edition.