In a world filled with trolls, we all need to live life more like a goblin. What does it mean to "live life like a goblin"? It means to give no fucks, but also all the fucks in the world at the same time. It means to be constantly anxiety ridden while also eternally optimistic. A goblin's heart, specifically John Goblikon's, is filled with love, joy, angst, constant quandary, Chili's Southwestern Egg rolls, metal, and empathy. Through the goblin eyes of being an internet-celebrity-insurance-salesman-rock and roll-mascot for the Goblin Metal outfit NEKROGOBLIKON, we learn about life, death, business, food, music, travel, culture, dating, school, drinking, compassion, and much more! John walks readers through crucial life steps, from becoming internet famous, to getting dates with special someones, to even correct ordering techniques for the perfect meal at Chili's. Have a problem? John Goblikon assumes he knows how to help you solve it...all in this new, for-sure-to-be-a-New-York-Times-bestseller-and-win-like-a-hundred-awards debut book: John Goblikon's Guide to Living Your Best Life.