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Told from the perspective of mothers who've lived it, Difficult
focuses on mothering challenging adult children. Difficult brings
to life the conflicts that arise for mothers who are confronted
with the unexpected, burdensome, and even catastrophic dependencies
of their adult children associated with mental illness, substance
use, or chronic unemployment. Through real stories of mothers and
their challenging adult children, this book offers readable,
provocative, and, at times, shocking illustrations of the
excruciating maternal dilemma: Which takes precedence--the needs of
the mother or of the distressed adult child? Difficult addresses a
family situation which too many keep secret. The book allows
readers to see that they are not alone. It includes resources for
getting help: finding social support, staying safe, engaging in
self-care, and helping the adult child. Judith Smith speaks
empathically to parents, acknowledging and illuminating the
embarrassment, shame, and helplessness that women can feel when
their adult children's problems puncture their own feelings of
self-worth. In the absence of sufficient supports and affordable
housing for persons with mental illness or substance misuse
disorder, mothers feel that they have no choice - "if not me, then
who?" Unpaid and unrecognized maternal caregiving work continues to
limit women's quality of life, even, into their later years. Smith
addresses this as a societal issue which requires structural
solutions. Difficult is for parents, concerned family and friends,
health and mental health professionals, and policy makers. The book
provides resources for women to find social support, stay safe, and
engage in self-care.
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