An overweight Mafioso wants to dance like Michael Flatley. A comedian hires an unreliable heckler to disrupt the high profile gig of a rival. A young boy develops a bizarre addiction to communion wafers. Just some of the stories from Juggling With Turnips. A book with very little juggling. And no turnips. Juggling With Turnips contains twenty-three stories of short comic fiction. And stuff in-between about what's going on with the writer of the stories. As he tries to the find someone to read the stories. Just one person. Anyone. Is that too much to ask? It also contains some extracts from his vast and pointless archive. Seven poems. And one reference to Harry Dean Stanton.

Meet Roddy Bodkin. Age 43. He has recently lost his job. His long-term girlfriend is tiring of him. He feels he is getting old and life is passing him by. Can things get any worse? Oh boy. Definitely. Yes. Because he now wants to try his hand at becoming a stand-up comedian. Set in Galway, on the west coast of Ireland, 58% Cabbage chronicles the hapless adventures of a middle-aged Everyman as he grapples with both a sense of loss and a loss of sense while attempting to pursue his comedy dreams. Calamity and hilarity accompany Roddy Bodkin on his odyssey through funerals, sex, friendship, part-time employment, memory, bad TV, family and Ireland.