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They're among us, but they are not like us. They manipulate, lie,
cheat, and steal. They are irresistibly charming and accomplished,
appearing to live in a radiance beyond what we are capable of. But
narcissists are empty. No one knows exactly what everyone else is
full of--some kind of a soul, or personhood--but whatever it is,
experts agree that narcissists do not have it. So goes the popular
understanding of narcissism, or NPD (narcissistic personality
disorder). And it's more prevalent than ever, according to recent
articles in The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Time. In
bestsellers like The Narcissism Epidemic, Narcissists Exposed, and
The Narcissist Next Door, pop psychologists have armed the normal
with tools to identify and combat the vampiric influence of this
rising population, while on websites like narcissismsurvivor.com,
thousands of people congregate to swap horror stories about
relationships with narcs. In The Selfishness of Others, the
essayist Kristin Dombek provides a clear-sighted account of how a
rare clinical diagnosis became a fluid cultural phenomenon, a
repository for our deepest fears about love, friendship, and
family. She cuts through hysteria in search of the razor-thin line
between pathology and common selfishness, writing with robust
skepticism toward the prophets of NPD and genuine empathy for those
who see themselves as its victims. And finally, she shares her own
story in a candid effort to find a path away from the cycle of fear
and blame and toward a more forgiving and rewarding life.
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