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At first glance, Barbara Kalish fit the stereotype of a 1950s wife
and mother. Married at eighteen, Barbara lived with her husband and
two daughters in a California suburb, where she was president of
the Parent-Teacher Association. At a PTA training conference in San
Francisco, Barbara met Pearl, another PTA president who also had
two children and happened to live only a few blocks away from her.
To Barbara, Pearl was "the most gorgeous woman in the world," and
the two began an affair that lasted over a decade. Through
interviews, diaries, memoirs, and letters, Her Neighbor's Wife
traces the stories of hundreds of women, like Barbara Kalish, who
struggled to balance marriage and same-sex desire in the postwar
United States. In doing so, Lauren Jae Gutterman draws our
attention away from the postwar landscape of urban gay bars and
into the homes of married women, who tended to engage in affairs
with wives and mothers they met in the context of their daily
lives: through work, at church, or in their neighborhoods. In the
late 1960s and 1970s, the lesbian feminist movement and the
no-fault divorce revolution transformed the lives of wives who
desired women. Women could now choose to divorce their husbands in
order to lead openly lesbian or bisexual lives; increasingly,
however, these women were confronted by hostile state
discrimination, typically in legal battles over child custody. Well
into the 1980s, many women remained ambivalent about divorce and
resistant to labeling themselves as lesbian, therefore complicating
a simple interpretation of their lives and relationship choices. By
revealing the extent to which marriage has historically permitted
space for wives' relationships with other women, Her Neighbor's
Wife calls into question the presumed straightness of traditional
American marriage.
At first glance, Barbara Kalish fit the stereotype of a 1950s wife
and mother. Married at eighteen, Barbara lived with her husband and
two daughters in a California suburb, where she was president of
the Parent-Teacher Association. At a PTA training conference in San
Francisco, Barbara met Pearl, another PTA president who also had
two children and happened to live only a few blocks away from her.
To Barbara, Pearl was "the most gorgeous woman in the world," and
the two began an affair that lasted over a decade. Through
interviews, diaries, memoirs, and letters, Her Neighbor's Wife
traces the stories of hundreds of women, like Barbara Kalish, who
struggled to balance marriage and same-sex desire in the postwar
United States. In doing so, Lauren Jae Gutterman draws our
attention away from the postwar landscape of urban gay bars and
into the homes of married women, who tended to engage in affairs
with wives and mothers they met in the context of their daily
lives: through work, at church, or in their neighborhoods. In the
late 1960s and 1970s, the lesbian feminist movement and the
no-fault divorce revolution transformed the lives of wives who
desired women. Women could now choose to divorce their husbands in
order to lead openly lesbian or bisexual lives; increasingly,
however, these women were confronted by hostile state
discrimination, typically in legal battles over child custody. Well
into the 1980s, many women remained ambivalent about divorce and
resistant to labeling themselves as lesbian, therefore complicating
a simple interpretation of their lives and relationship choices. By
revealing the extent to which marriage has historically permitted
space for wives' relationships with other women, Her Neighbor's
Wife calls into question the presumed straightness of traditional
American marriage.
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