This fascinating book is a must-Read for any Twain enthusiast" - Andy Borowitz In fall 1891, Mark Twain headed for Berlin, the "newest city I have ever seen," as America's foremost humorist wrote; accompanied by his wife, Olivia, and their three daughters. Twain, a "Yankee from head to toe," according to the Berlin press, conspired with diplomats, frequented the famed salons, had breakfast with duchesses, and dined with the emperor. He also suffered an "organized dog-choir club," at his first address, which he deemed a "rag-picker's paradise," picked a fight with the police, who made him look under his maid's petticoats, was abused by a porter, got lost on streetcars, was nearly struck down by pneumonia, and witnessed a proletarian uprising right in front of his hotel on Unter den Linden. Twain penned articles about his everyday life and also began a novel about lonely Prussian princess Wilhelmina von Preussen-unpublished until now, like many of his Berlin stories. These are assembled for the first time in this book, along with a riveting account of Twain's foray in the German capital, by Andreas Austilat. Berlinica offers English-language books from Berlin, German; fiction, non-fiction, travel guides, history about the Wall and the Third Reich, Jewish life, art, architecture and photography, as well as books about nightlife, cookbooks, and maps. It also offers documentaries and feature films on DVD, as well as music CDs. Berlinica caters to history buffs, Americans of German heritage, travelers, and artists and young people who love the cutting-edge city in the heart of Europe. Berlinica's current and upcoming titles include "Berlin Berlin Dispatches from the Weimar Republic," by Kurt Tucholsky, "Jews in Berlin, by Andreas Nachama, Julius H. Schoeps, and Hermann Simon, a comprehensive book on Jewish history and present in the German capital, "Wings of Desire-Angels of Berlin," by Lother Heinke," "The Berlin Wall Today," a full-color guide to the remnants of the Wall, "Wallflower," a novel by New-York-born writer Holly-Jane Rahlens; "Berlin For Free," a guide to everything free in Berlin for the frugal traveler by Monika Maertens; "Berlin in the Cold War," about post-World War II history and the Wall, "The Berlin Cookbook," a full-color collection of traditional German recipes by Rose Marie Donhauser, the music CD "Berlin-mon amour," by chanteuse Adrienne Haan, and two documentaries on DVD, "The Red Orchestra," by Berlin-born artist Stefan Roloff and "The Path to Nuclear Fission," by New York filmmaker Rosemarie Reed.

As the editor of Harper's Magazine, Lewis Lapham has enjoyed entrée to America's "cultural elite," a class distinguished by its talent for currying favor, licking boots, and kissing ass. Now, in this scathingly funny and politically incorrect self-help book, Mr. Lapham offers his best advice to aspiring careerists seeking to ride in helicopters and see themselves on television.
        
Drawing upon a lifetime of experience among the cogno-scenti, Mr. Lapham breaks rank and reveals the unspoken secrets of getting ahead: what to say, how to dress, when to lie, whom to befriend, where to be seen, and why it is absolutely essential to wear clean shoes. ("The first impression is also the last impression. You don't wish to be remembered as the stain on the rug.")
        
Anyone interested in self-advancement will be transformed by Lapham's Rules of Influence, which offers proven nuggets of wisdom. For example, when trying to impress the boss, remember: "Flattery cannot be too often or too recklessly applied. Think of it as suntan lotion or moisturizing cream."
        
Written with stinging wit and tongue planted firmly in cheek, Lapham's Rules of Influence is a brilliant critique of class and manners in America, packed with the kind of irreverent observation that only Lewis Lapham can provide.

  Seek out the acquaintance of people richer and more important than yourself, and never take an interest in people who cannot do you any favors.

  Rumor tinged with malice is the most precious form of gossip. When you are invited to spend a weekend with important journalists or movie stars, it is considered polite to bring four items of unpublished slander in lieu of a house present or a bottle of wine.

  Make unsparing use of clichés. The empty word is the correct word. Contrary to the opinion of snobbish New York intellectuals, the placid murmur of cliché is always preferable to the expression of strong feeling, which is an embarrassment.

  A truly fashionable dinner party ends at the moment when all the guests have arrived and everybody has been seen or not seen. Once attendance has been taken, the rest of the evening is superfluous.

  A good meeting is one at which nothing happens. Sit erect, second all the motions, remember everybody's name.


From the Hardcover edition.