My mother's first attempt at dying occurred nine days after her eighty-ninth birthday. I lived a carefree bachelor life, no children, few responsibilities outside of work, but that all changed when the call came. When she decided to come back to life, I decided to move from the dry heat of Los Angeles back to the high humidity of New Jersey to take over. My first task was to remove all hazards: her current caretakers. After, I asked my mom, "Do you trust me?" She whispered, "Yes." "Do you understand I will do everything in my power to keep you healthy and safe?" She nodded. "That means I'm in charge. And that means you must obey me." Her mood shifted in an instant. She looked me dead in the eye and puckered up her lips. I wasn't sure if this was a sign of surrender or one wishing me luck. I kissed her and hoped for the best. The parent/child role reversal was not unique to me, but how I dealt with it was. A Cup of Tea on the Commode chronicles my multi-taking adventures of filling Mom's last years with love, laughter, and joy. Though not always successful, I came pretty damn close.