A bold, witty and fresh adaptation of Jane Austen's novel which, while thoroughly modern, retains the spirit and much of the language of the original. It is night-time and an exhausted Jane Austen sleeps over the recently completed manuscript of her novel Emma. Her four nieces steal in and decide to act out the text and, after her initial anger on being wakened, Jane herself takes the role of Mr Knightley. The excitable teenage girls often try to take the story into their own realms of fantasy but are always brought back to the real text by Jane. This adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma, by Doon MacKichan and Martin Millar, was first performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August 1999, transferring to the Tricycle Theatre, London, in September.

Aristophanes is inconsolable--his rival playwrights are hogging all the local attention, a pesky young wannabe poet won't leave him alone, his actors can't remember their lines, and his own festival sponsor seems to be conspiring against him, withholding direly needed funds for set design and, most importantly, giant phallus props. O woe, how can his latest comedy convince Athenian citizens to vote down another ten years of war against Sparta if they're too busy scoffing at the diminutive phalluses? And why does everyone in the city-state seem to be losing their minds? Wallowing in one inconvenience after another, Aristophanes is unaware that the Spartan and Athenian generals have unleashed Laet, the spirit of foolishness and bad decisions, to inspire chaos and war-mongering in Athens. To counteract Laet's influence, Athena sends Bremusa, an Amazon warrior, and Metris, an endearingly airheaded nymph (their first choice was her mother Metricia, but she grew tired of all the fighting and changed back into a river). Dashing between fantastical scenes of moody and meddlesome gods, ever-applicable political debates in the senate, backstage scrambling for the play, and glimpses of life in Ancient Greece, Martin Millar delivers another witty and comical romp for readers of all ages.

Elfish's friends live hand to mouth in a bleak section of London, squatting, seeing local bands, getting high, and feeling bitter over lost ambitions. Except Elfish, who pursues exactly what she wants with demonic single-mindedness. Elfish rarely eats, never washes, and is devoted to Queen Mab--both the Shakespearean fairy, "deliverer of dreams," and her thrash metal band, formed with her attractive but dimwitted lover, Mo. When Mo jilts her and calls his new band Queen Mab, Elfish is determined to keep the name for her own band and sets about getting revenge. To stop Mo, Elfish is obliged to steal, cheat, and lie to everyone around her. Happily, Elfish is a compulsive liar, and quite fond of cheating and stealing. On the night Mo's band is to play, he and his friends laugh cruelly around her. The people she has deceived turn on her viciously. It is up to Elfish whether to give up hope or to rally, proving to all the power of her will. A fearless stage diver and shameless purveyor of bad sex, Elfish stands alone. Surrounded by people who have given up hope, only she will not put down her guitar. Only she refuses to stop dreaming.

"From now on," Ruby says to her friend, the unnamed narrator, "we're going on the Stone Age diet. It means we only eat the sort of healthy things our ancestors would have eaten. Raw grains and fruits and stuff like that. That's what our bodies are made for." An admirable plan, but Ruby never eats, and the narrator's attention span doesn't lend itself to routine. He's too busy pining for his ex-girlfriend Cis, who broke up with him and left him nothing but self-pity and a plant: an Aphrodite Cactus that, when it flowers, is supposed to seal the love of the giver to the receiver. At least, according to Ruby. Ruby, who never wears any shoes (even in the dead of winter). Though lovelorn and lonely, the narrator's life is rich with myth, with demons, werewolves, gods, and goddesses; everything is imbued with a spirit. There's Helena, goddess of electric guitar players; Ascanazl, an ancient and powerful Inca spirit who looks after lonely people; Shumash the sun god; the war and sexuality goddess Astarte; Aphrodite; the muse Clio. In fact the only thing stronger and more sustaining than the narrator's fantasy life is his friendship with Ruby--stable, supportive, inspiring, the kind of pure friendship that a body is made for.

There is something about Lux. He's a thief and a liar; he is selfish and self-absorbed and hopelessly vain. But while he looks like Lana Turner and romances like a true Casanova, Lux is actually more like a bumbling, oblivious Mary Tyler Moore. Amid shouting mobs, police shields, and the hurled bricks of the '80s Brixton riots, Lux is searching for Pearl--the love of his life. Her home has been burned down by a stray petrol bomb, and she's searching for sanctuary along with her friend Nicky. Nicky is traumatized after having killed her computer--her best friend--and is herself being followed by Happy Science PLC. It is their plan to breed a superior next generation by implanting the sperm of genius men inside beautiful women. She knows too much about the plan. Lux is helped in his quest by Kalia, a castaway of Heaven attempting to get back in God's good graces by performing one million good deeds over countless lifetimes. There's also a thrash metal band, a riot-party, past lives, and KY. Lots of KY.

There's a megalomaniac professor digging a hole outside his flat. His small stake in the amphetamine market in Brixton is being threatened by a mysterious Chinese man. And the Milk Marketing Board has taken out a contract on his life. Welcome to the bizarre, obsessive world of Alby Starvation. Alby's doctor refuses to believe he's allergic to just about everything (which he is), especially milk. But when Alby soon discovers that his ongoing ailments are directly linked to the consumption of said product, he gives it up and is cured. Only thing is, he goes on to suggest this remedy to a number of other people suffering from milk allergies. In Millar's surreal backyard, the Milk Marketing Board sees sales slump to an all-time low. So there's only one thing left to do: put out a contract on Alby Starvation. Now Alby must save both his life and his precious comic collection. In Martin Millar's surreal tale of the urban counterculture--a world full of shoplifting, deaththreats, paranoia, and video game arcades--Alby's frantic struggle to avoid being shot falls somewhere between Irvine Welsh and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

While teenage werewolf Kalix MacRinnalch is being pursued through the streets of London by murderous hunters, her sister, the Werewolf Enchantress, is busy designing clothes for the Fire Queen. Meanwhile, in the Scottish Highlands, the MacRinnalch Clan is plotting and feuding after the head of the clan suddenly dies intestate. As the court intrigue threatens to blow up into all-out civil war, the competing factions determine that Kalix is the swing vote necessary to assume leadership of the clan. Unfortunately, Kalix isn't really into clan politics -- laudanum's more her thing. Even more unfortunately, Kalix is the reason the head of the clan ended up dead, which is why she's now on the lam in London. . . This expansive tale of werewolves in the modern world -- friendly werewolves, fashionista werewolves, troubled teenage werewolves, cross-dressing werewolves, werewolves of every sort -- is hard-edged, hilarious, and utterly believable.

'I owned it for five years before reading it, then lent my copy to someone I thought should read it, and never got it back. Do not make either of my mistakes. Read it now, and then make your friends buy their own copies. You'll thank me one day' Neil Gaiman Morag and Heather, two eighteen-inch fairies with swords, green kilts and badly dyed hair fly through the window of the worst violinist in New York, an overweight and antisocial type named Dinnie, and vomit on his carpet. Who they are, how they came to New York and what this has to do with the lovely Kerry - who lives across the street, and has Crohn's Disease, and is making a flower alphabet - and what this has to do with the other fairies (of all nationalities) of New York, not to mention the poor repressed fairies of Britain, is the subject of this book. It has a war in it, and a most unusual production of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream and Johnny Thunders' New York Dolls guitar solos. What more could anyone desire from a book? Why do readers love The Good Fairies of New York? 'Pure literary gold' 'I can't remember the last time a book gave me as many belly laughs as this one did' 'Hilarious' 'A fairy tale tale for the new kids on the block : irreverent, subversive, sexually liberated, rich in pop culture references' 'Page-turning . . . intelligent, but never overdone' 'Off-beat and quirky, but it's also a tale with a beating pulse and moral warmth. Martin Millar is an incredible addition to the paranormal scene - he dirties the genre, roughs it up and screams a story that rings in your ears long after the last page'

'Undeniably brilliant' - Guardian 'The funniest writer in Britain today' - GQ 'A Hello Kitty-type brand dominating the global economy and bringing governments to heel feels chillingly plausible' Herald Scotland Mox and Mitsu are Supercute. They founded the global business Supercute Enterprises as teenagers, armed only with a phone, a collection of their favourite cuddly toys and a love of all things kawaii. Thanks to them, the Supercute aesthetic is now a way of life. In a world dominated by massive conglomerates, Supercute has continued to grow bigger and more powerful, morphing from an entertainment company to a ruthless organisation fighting for their right to the world's water. Now Mox and Mitsu face a choice. In a world that is tearing itself apart, who will win in the battle for ultimate control - and where will Supercute draw the line . . . Readers LOVE Martin Millar: 'A bit like falling into Bladerunner via a manga cartoon. Like everything by Martin Millar it's both funny and sad.' Amazon review, verified purchase 'One of the funniest books ever written' Amazon review, verified purchase 'Oh my goodness, how I WISH it were real! Amazing, easy to read piece of fiction which will stay with me for a long time' Twitter user 'Superb, hilarious, heartwarming, brilliant. A work of genius' Amazon review, verified purchase 'I strongly recommend this book to anyone interested in Cyberpunk' Goodreads review 'Sex, drugs and anarchy reign - definitely not your average fairy tale!' Amazon review, verified purchase 'A very British strain of understated comedy . . . a finely honed sense of absurdist whims . . . delightful' Amazon review, verified purchase 'As always, Millar aligns himself with life's eccentrics, misfits and innocents in the struggle against politicians, military leaders, financiers and other idiots' Amazon review, verified purchase 'Had me laughing out loud on the tube' Amazon review, verified purchase 'Five Star Fab! Buy it, borrow it, steal it - but DO read it' Twitter user