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Real socialists hate this book. It flushes all their utopian ideas
down the crapper with rude and mocking hilarity. For the more
studious and casual bathroom readers who seek pleasurable reading
for hours on end, here is Part One of an astonishing treasure trove
of socialist failures, slaughters, and collapses. It is written for
the rising generation of forgetful citizenry who keep falling for
all those free lunches that are routinely promised in the
socialists' 5-year Porcelain Platform Plan (please be seated). For
the first time ever, the hilarious, the shocking, the revealing,
the numbing, the suspiciously conspiratorial if not blatantly
declarative of socialism's darkest and most profoundly secretive
platitudes inhale and take breath here], are all brought together
in this first installment of Comrade Paul's Socialist Bathroom
Reader. Organized for many gleeful months of raucous and riveting
reading, the curious and disgusted proletarians may delve into:
Socialism's amazing world records The anti-socialist themes in
Hollywood movies The truth about Hitler's socialistic agenda The
murder mystery of the most hated woman in America The truth behind
shoddy imports from socialist countries The evil seven pillars of
socialism designed to destroy natural rights The U.S. presidents
who furthered socialism in America And an unending supply of
socialist jokes freshly plucked from the impoverished oppressed who
must live under socialism each and every day. This book need not be
read from front to back in the usual fashion for this is not a
typical bourgeois fashionable book. To the contrary, it is meant to
be picked up and read from any page---that is, rudely arbitrarily,
just like socialism. It is most important, on penalty of 10 years
at the Retraining Camp, that severe attention be paid to the
reading because in the end, there will be a quiz. Therefore, Dear
Leader says, "Must read."
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