Writing this book springs from a deep feeling for people and a grave concern that without a proper understanding of the reasons for their inhumanity in relation to one another and the development of a compassionate world view, it is likely that human beings may eventually destroy themselves and life on the planet. This work is an attempt to explain the source of destructive behaviour and how it manifests itself in personal relationships between men, women, couples, and families, and in the social arena. The author presents a position that offers a hope of altering the destiny of humankind's unethical behavior through better psychological understanding and education. Understanding the source of a person's aggressiveness in defending the fantasy bond and learning to cope with the voice process have strong implications for child-rearing and better mental health practices.

Writing this book springs from a deep feeling for people and a grave concern that without a proper understanding of the reasons for their inhumanity in relation to one another and the development of a compassionate world view, it is likely that human beings may eventually destroy themselves and life on the planet. This work is an attempt to explain the source of destructive behaviour and how it manifests itself in personal relationships between men, women, couples, and families, and in the social arena. The author presents a position that offers a hope of altering the destiny of humankind's unethical behavior through better psychological understanding and education. Understanding the source of a person's aggressiveness in defending the fantasy bond and learning to cope with the voice process have strong implications for child-rearing and better mental health practices.

Three psychologists provide readers with all the tools they need to overcome the kinds of nagging, judgmental, or abusively self-critical thinking that contribute to low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. The inner critic is the voice in our heads that whispers, whines, and needles us into place. It edits our thoughts, controls our behaviour, and inhibits our actions. It thinks it is protecting us from being hurt or abandoned - but all it really does is reinforce feelings of shame and guilt, sabotage our intimate relationships, and contribute to drug and alcohol abuse. Conquer Your Inner Critic presents a revolutionary new strategy for dealing with the inner critic: externalising it. This subtle yet powerful reframing technique turns internal self-criticisms into "you" statements, that when written or said aloud can finally be subjected to a reality-test and seen to be the gross exaggerations, unfair comparisons, or flat-out lies that they really are. Step-by-step, readers learn to keep track of their negative thoughts, analyse their reality, and recognize how negative thinking impacts their lives. They then learn to use a variety of techniques to help them release the inner critic's stranglehold on their lives and combat its subversive effect on career achievement, intimate relationships, and sexuality. A final chapter offers parents simple ways to help their children avoid forming a tyrannical inner critic.

How much of our identity or 'self' is truly representative of our own wants, needs, and goals in life and how much does it reflect the desires and priorities of someone else? Are we following our own destiny or are we unconsciously repeating the lives of our parents, living according to their values, ideals, and beliefs? In this thought-provoking book, noted clinical psychologist Robert Firestone and his co-authors explore the struggle that all of us face in striving to retain a sense of ourselves as unique individuals. The self is under siege from several sources: primarily pain and rejection in the developmental years, problems in relationships, detrimental societal forces, and existential realities that affect all people. Through numerous case studies and personal stories from men and women who participated in a 35-year observational study, the authors illustrate how voice therapy, a cognitive/affective/behavioral methodology pioneered by Firestone, is used to elicit, identify, and challenge the destructive inner voice and to change aversive behaviors based on its prescriptions. The theory they describe integrates the psychodynamic and existential approaches underlying voice therapy and is enriched by research findings in the neurosciences, attachment research, and terror management theory (TMT). An important addition to the area of personality development theory, The Self under Siege offers a new perspective on differentiation and the battle to separate ourselves from the chains of the past. It provides psychotherapists and other mental health professionals with the tools needed to help clients differentiate from the dysfunctional attitudes and toxic personality traits of their parents, other family members, and harmful societal influences that have unconsciously dominated their lives. This book will have a special appeal to clients and, in fact, to any person interested in his/her own personal development

What keeps people from living in ways that satisfy their individual needs and priorities? In this book, noted clinical psychologist Robert W. Firestone sets forth the theory--synthesizing psychodynamic and existential approaches to the psyche--underlying his voice therapy methodology. From childhood, Firestone maintains, humans are prevented from experiencing an individuated life by the pressures of society and destructive interactions within the family. The goal of voice therapy is to uncover the insidious forces--represented by internal messages, called voices--that limit humans. Firestone's technique, grounded in clinical research, helps the client to reveal these voices quickly, recognize their detrimental source, and begin the path to a meaningful life. In addition to laying theoretical foundations, this book emphasizes the use of voice therapy in direct practice with couples, parents, and individuals and expands these theories to consider existential and social concerns such as death anxiety and ethnic conflict. Therapists seeking to expand their techniques will find in this book a unique advancement on traditional psychodynamic models. Combating Destructive Thought Processes offers a methodology of interest to professionals in psychology, clinical psychology, counseling, social work, and developmental psychology.

Many people grapple with destructive thought processes or a "critical inner voice" that directs their behavior and, to varying degrees, limits their lives. Using deeply personal and very human stories based on his own clinical practice, noted psychologist Robert W. Firestone illustrates the struggles of his clients to give words to this "enemy within," and in the process overcome its damaging influence. These revealing and captivating stories offer glimpses into the uniquely human relationship that develops in the therapeutic encounter and demonstrate the powerful impact that the experience has on both client and therapist. Dr. Firestone is the originator of a therapeutic method called "Voice Therapy," by which clients learn to identify the language of the defense system and eventually separate their own point of view from its harmful effects. Each story provides an intimate look into one person's life, illuminates aspects of his or her "dark side," and highlights an important insight into the therapeutic process. This sensitively written book will evoke emotional responses in readers, and inspire them to take action to challenge the dictates of their own inner critic. Taken together, these stories underscore the distinctive merits and continuing relevance of the therapeutic process, especially in our distracted, technological world increasingly detached from feeling.

When it comes to finding love, are you standing in your own way? Daring to Love will help you identify the internal barriers that cause you to sabotage your love life, open yourself up to vulnerability, and build the intimate, lasting relationship you truly desire. After a breakup, most of us spend a lot of time thinking long and hard about what the other person did to cause it, rather than reflecting on ourselves. It seems self-evident that we want our romantic relationships to work, and that love and long-term commitment are our ultimate goals. But what if our desire for love is actually not as straightforward as our emotions make us believe? What if, instead of pursuing love, we are unconsciously pushing it away? In Daring to Love, Tamsen and Robert W. Firestone offer techniques based in Robert Firestone's groundbreaking voice therapy-the process of giving spoken word to unhealthy patterns-to help you understand how you are getting in your own way on the quest for true love. Love, the Firestones argue, makes us vulnerable and triggers old defenses we formed in childhood, causing us to sabotage our relationships in myriad subtle-and not-so-subtle-ways. Using the voice therapy strategies in this book, you will be able to identify your own defensive patterns and uncover the destructive messages your critical inner voice is telling you about yourself, your partners, and your relationships. If you're struggling to cultivate lasting relationships, this book can help you embark on your next romantic journey with more openness and self-knowledge.

Why are many of us compelled to repeat the pain of our past, while avoiding positive experiences that could enrich our lives? This much-anticipated follow-up to the critically-acclaimed and bestselling The Fantasy Bond tackles the complex question of why so many of us are compelled to repeat the pain of our past while avoiding positive experiences that could enrich our lives. In this thought-provoking book, clinical psychologist and theorist Robert Firestone explains how the fantasy bond, an illusion of connection, develops early in childhood to cope with the pain and frustration resulting from parental misattunement, neglect, or mistreatment. It is manifested as a destructive internal thought process, the critical inner voice. Later, the fantasy bond is extended to family members, intimate partners, and social groups. In Challenging the Fantasy Bond, Dr. Firestone presents his latest thoughts and observations about the self-defeating aspects of this process and places the original concepts in the broader context of his overall theoretical approach, Separation Theory. Compelling case studies illustrate how the critical inner voice causes considerable pain and discomfort and interferes with intimacy. These case studies demonstrate how Voice Therapy, a cognitive/affective/behavioral methodology, can be used to counteract these destructive internal messages and help individuals embrace the present, instead of reliving the past. Challenging our illusions of a merged identity and moving toward separation and individuation are essential if we are to become fully autonomous human beings. This thorough update of a classic work is particularly timely in its identification of the existential fears that contribute to prejudice, political divisiveness, and ethnic strife.

In this revolutionary work, Firestone develops the theory and underlying dynamics involved in disturbed family relationships. He describes a process through which parents can uncover and work through ambivalent feelings toward their children, to gain a more compassionate view of themselves and of their children. (Parenting)

This work provides clinicians with a detailed description of Voice Therapy, a cognitive/affective/behavioral technique developed by Dr. Firestone that can be used to elicit and bring to the foreground negative thought patterns antithetical to the self and cynical toward others.

Based on 28 years of research into the problem of resistance, this book offers a consistently developed hypothesis centering around the concept of the "Fantasy Bond, " an illusion of connection originally formed with the mother and later with significant others in the individual's environment.