The year is 2000, which is practically the future! The location is Reading, England. Cleo Howard is almost eighteen years old. Shea s studying for her A Levels. Despite this, shea s going to have the best summer of her life. By the end of the year shea ll have seen Slipknot, MotArhead, Nine Inch Nails, Rage Against The Machine and David Bowie, plus local bands Venomous Lizzard and WhyY2K. As usual, Cleo is lucky to have her constant companions Ian and Jenni to join in her adventures. There is a list of characters in the back of the book should you need it. If you want to read more about Cleo Howard her later adventures are covered in The Eviscerated Panda Quintet; Eviscerated Panda A Metal Tale, Eviscerated Panda Back In Bamboo, Eviscerated Panda Vulgar Display Of Panda, Eviscerated Panda Vol. 4 and Eviscerated Panda So Far, So Good, So Panda. This is her fourth diary. Her first one, The Very Metal Diary Of Cleo Howard covers the year 1997 and should be read first.

The year is 1999. The location is Reading, England. Cleo Howard is almost seventeen years old. Her primary concerns are sex, clothes, music, going to the pub and bosom growth. She's studying for her A Levels and is getting to grips with Sociology. She is regretting Biology. Despite this, it's going to be an exciting year. By the end of it she'll have seen Metallica, Ministry, Marilyn Manson, Venomous Lizzard, Napalm Death and Type O Negative. She'll have had sex in the same room as other people. She will have fought the feminist cause while on a field trip. A new shopping centre will open in her home town but she will prefer Camden. Luckily Cleo will have her boyfriend Barry and her constant companions Ian and Jenni to help her weather the storms of the end of the millennium.

Eviscerated Panda - So Far, So Good, So Panda is the fifth book in the Eviscerated Panda series. It follows the band and those close to them while they try to gain musical success and not get jaded and faded by life's many demands. There are gigs aplenty for the Pandas; in Coventry with Over-revved Engine, in their native Reading with Dick Trouble, Deep Red Mistress and Nightshade Milkshake, and in Camden with Horror Frog. Gigs take place against a backdrop of personal issues; Ian and Gav meet their estranged Mum, Suzy reluctantly celebrates her thirtieth birthday, Victor, the singer of Deep Red Mistress, irritates Phil. Paul plays at the swanky golf club with covers band the Bandits of Party City. Nick and Jenni move in together. Paul and Angie celebrate their wedding anniversary and daughter Rose's first birthday. Jez and Cleo visit a castle. The Pandas record their second album. They play in Bognor with Horror Frog and at a bike rally. Paul becomes the drummer for the Bandits of Party City as well as the Pandas. Phil outlines his Pandas on tour plan and buys a van then kicks a stressful aspect of his life to the kerb. Paul decides to leave the Pandas. They advertise for a new drummer. Cleo has doubts about Jez. Suzy is not pleased to see men in uniform. Gav and Cleo move back to Reading and a promising new drummer excites Phil. Eviscerated Panda has claws and potential, they aren't going to give up yet.

These twenty four short stories are ideal for advent reading or whenever you can fit them into the busy month of December. These festive snapshots into other people's lives aim to enliven and entertain. A handful of the stories are set in the recent past, because Christmas is a great time for nostalgia. There are stories about anticipation, hope and that tingling feeling you get when waiting for something pleasant to happen. There is a cast of characters of all ages and not all of them are human. There are themes of time and counting, dark and light, change and renewal. The book is two dozen slices of Christmas, waiting to bring cheer at the dark time of the year.

The year is 1998. The location is Reading, England. Cleo Howard is almost sixteen years old. It's going to be a big year. By the end of it she'll have seen Black Sabbath and Slayer, sat her GCSEs, been alone with a man and Opal Fruits will have been renamed Starburst. It's a time of great change. Cleo is lucky to have her constant companions Ian and Jenni to help her weather the storms of her world.

Eviscerated Panda volume four follows the band and their significant others through the end of their second year making music together. They play at the Edge Bar and Suzy has a tantrum of epic proportions. Phil and Suzy make up, Jez has dinner with a mystery woman and Nick and Jenni celebrate their engagement. The Pandas play in Camden with Horror Frog and Dick Trouble and the Viagras. Victor turns up in Reading, Paul has a chance meeting with an old band mate and Eviscerated Panda play in the home of metal with Nightshade Milkshake. Paul takes on a side project, much to Phil's disgust, and Victor enrols at the University of Reading. Ian meets his Mum, the Pandas play a Halloween gig and Victor completes the line-up of his new Reading based band called Deep Red Mistress. A ring is given to Cleo and the Pandas play with Dick Trouble and the Viagras in Witney. Jenni receives birthday flowers from two men. Paul plays gigs with a band other than Eviscerated Panda and Deep Red Mistress play their debut gig. Two of the Pandas attend the golf club dinner dance and the Pandas play in Coventry with Over-revved Engine. Christmas is celebrated and Phil wonders what the future holds. He's still searching for that elusive musical success...

The year is 1997. Cleo Howard is at a very awkward age, she's sure she's an adult, so why won't everyone realise this? Why won't her chest realise this? Why is maths so hard? When will she stop feeling sad that her dad doesn't live with her and her mum? Music and men are her twin fascinations and she thanks Almighty Lemmy for metal and mates. Her diary, which you now hold in your hands, is home to her deepest thoughts, fondest wishes and often what she had for tea.

Eviscerated Panda - Vulgar Display of Panda is the third book that follows Reading's premier thrash band as they chase musical success and fulfilment. They play gigs in Camden, Coventry, Kentish town, Reading and High Wycombe. Often the need to also attend to the rest of their lives gate crashes their plans. Were it not for paid employment, families and the pursuit of women they would be a global success by now. They find some things are never easy, while some people are always easy. Phil revels in the attention of an interviewer, the Pandas record an album and Suzy's band management career sees her take on another group of men. Ian gets lucky, and then he gets lucky again and again. He'd like you to high five him right now. There's a metal pilgrimage to Wacken for some. The singer of another band troubles the Panda's womenfolk. A baby is born, some criminal activity occurs, a gig with a glam band bemuses. The near waking of a baby is averted by a story about Carrotlicker Tonguewiggle and chums (a band of bunny rabbits). There is a haircut, an engagement and peace made with old adversaries. If this all sounds too exciting rest assured there are also a great many band practices, cosy pub nights in the Green Man and a spot of shopping.The metal soap opera that is Eviscerated Panda continues...

Eviscerated Panda - Back In Bamboo is a book that meanders around the topics of heavy metal, happiness, sex, morality, love and biscuits. It follows the lives of keen for success metal band Eviscerated Panda and their friends, families and lovers over a four month period. There are chance meetings with old band mates, birthday celebrations and career aspirations. Eviscerated Panda play loud gigs in Camden, in Coventry, in their home town of Reading and in Torquay. They have to cope with the temporary closure of their favourite pub, the Green Man, which is the scene of much of their carousing. Ian has trouble in his life of love while Dean and Lucy are getting started on theirs, if only his Mum would give them a minute of privacy. Suzi does a rude thing in a dressing room suitable only for mature readers. They go to see the inspiring kings of metal, Manowar. They play an April Fool's day joke on their fans. Some of them wake up in a room that smells of onions. The book ends with the Pandas playing on the same bill as Nightshade Milkshake, the band that lead guitarist Phil was in before he made the Pandas happen.

Eviscerated Panda are a newly formed thrash metal band. They are the brainchild of ageing lead guitarist Phil Winter. They represent his big hope for regaining his former musical self-esteem and his luck with the ladies. Phil had to hastily exit stage left from his last band when his dalliances with the drummer's fiancee were discovered. Young singer and underachiever Nick loves the band because it provides an escape from his dull job in a supermarket. For rhythm guitarist Ian it's all he's ever wanted to do. For bass player Jim it's a pleasant hobby, at least to begin with. For drummer Paul it's a step up from being in a covers band and a sometime causer of arguments between him and his wife. A band is much more than just the musicians in it, it's a whole ecosystem. A female perspective is given by close friends Cleo and Jenni as the Pandas play to and hang out with an audience comprised of friends, fans, wives, girlfriends, future girlfriends, lovers, promoters, other bands, interested spectators and uninterested spectators. After a nervous first gig in their native Reading they play in Swindon, Coventry, Oxford, Dudley, Brighton, Birmingham and Camden. In between gigs they mostly go to the pub, eat biscuits, record an E.P, read a girl's guide to heavy metal written by Cleo, practice and make grandiose plans for their future. Occasionally they get laid. Even more occasionally they get paid to play. This is a niche novel and proud of it. If you like heavy metal and reading books which are not designed for education nor enlightenment then this is for you.