Like so many others I was sick and tired of being sick and tired I hated where my life had gotten me and despised my own husband. My marriage was over and I was slipping into alcoholism, drugs, and suicidal thoughts. It was a long slow death but my husband's choice to enjoy a love affair with pornography and no leadership of his home was creating a monster in our home. That monster turned out to be me. I had become an angry, bitter, scorned wife not knowing how to change myself or save my marriage. Having my first child and loving her so much but longing to die due to the pain I felt in my marriage. I no longer had the strength to move forward. I made choices to in act my own revenge and ultimately damage my marriage further and kill myself even more. Suicide became the only way to end the pain and save my daughter from her own mother, until God stepped in and revealed another path.