The Enormously Entertaining Memoir by One of the Great Artists of Our Time-Now a New York Times, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Publishers Weekly Bestseller. In this candid and often hilarious memoir, the celebrated director, comedian, writer, and actor offers a comprehensive, personal look at his tumultuous life. Beginning with his Brooklyn childhood and his stint as a writer for the Sid Caesar variety show in the early days of television, working alongside comedy greats, Allen tells of his difficult early days doing standup before he achieved recognition and success. With his unique storytelling pizzazz, he recounts his departure into moviemaking, with such slapstick comedies as Take the Money and Run, and revisits his entire, sixty-year-long, and enormously productive career as a writer and director, from his classics Annie Hall, Manhattan, and Hannah and Her Sisters to his most recent films, including Midnight in Paris. Along the way, he discusses his marriages, his romances and famous friendships, his jazz playing, and his books and plays. We learn about his demons, his mistakes, his successes, and those he loved, worked with, and learned from in equal measure. This is the hugely entertaining, deeply honest, rich and brilliant self-portrait of a celebrated artist who is ranked among the greatest filmmakers of our time.

Set in an empty Greek amphitheater, this mad play within a play switches back and forth between ancient Athens and modern Broadway. A Greek actor and a writer are discussing how to end a play. Actors, including Doris Levine from Great Neck, Blanche DuBois, and Groucho Marx, pop out of the audience. Peppered with metaphysical and philosophical questions, the play skids along farcically until the actor and writer conclude that it lacks a beginning as well as an end.

His first new collection of short humor in fifteen years is classic Woody Allen. Zero Gravity is the fifth collection of comic pieces by Woody Allen, a hilarious prose stylist whose enduring appeal readers have savored since his classics Getting Even, Without Feathers, Side Effects, and Mere Anarchy. This new work combines pieces that have appeared in The New Yorker along with ten written exclusively for this book, each a comic inspiration. Whether he's writing about horses that paint, cars that think, the sex lives of celebrities, or how General Tso's Chicken got its name, he is always totally original, broad yet sophisticated, acutely observant, and most important, relentlessly funny. Along with titles like "Buffalo Wings Woncha Come Out Tonight" and "When Your Hood Ornament Is Nietzsche," included in this collection is his poignant but very funny short story, "Growing Up in Manhattan." Zero Gravity implies writing not to be taken seriously, but, as with any true humor, not all the laughs are weightless

Comedy

Woody Allen

Characters: 18 male, 2 female (doubling possible).

Bare stage, simple props.

A maniacal killer is at large and Kleinman is caught between conflicting factions with plans on how to catch him. Kleinman, a logical man in a mad world, is indecisive and insecure; he doesn't want to get involved but everyone is after him to make a choice. He is even accused of being the culprit. When Kleinman confronts the maniac (who looks no different from anyone else), he is stabbed. Everyone rushes off to pursue the still elusive killer.

Comedy

Characters: 3 male, 8 female

Interior Set

Allan Felix has this thing about Humphrey Bogart. If only he had some of Bogart's technique... Bookish and insecure with women, Allan's hero, Bogey comes to the rescue, with a fantastic bevy of beauties played out in hilarious fantasy sequences. Fixed up by friends with gorgeous women, he's so awkward that even Bogey's patience is tried. Allan mostly resembles a disheveled, friendly dog and this is what ultimately charms his best friend's wife, Linda into bed. It's a tough life, making it in the world of beautiful people but if you can't be a hero it helps to have one...

"Hilarious...a cheerful romp. Not only are Mr. Allen's jokes and their follow ups, asides and twists audaciously brilliant, but he has a great sense of character."-The New York Times

"A funny, likeable comedy that has a surprising amount of wistful appeal."-New York Post

New York comedian Alvy Singer reflects ruefully upon a failed relationship. When he first met Annie Hall on a tennis date, she was an insecure wallflower in trousers, vest and tie. But they shared a self-deprecating sense of humour, plus certain deep-seated neuroses, and love soon blossomed. Alvy supported Annie's hopes for a singing career and encouraged her to broaden her talents. But ironically, her increasing self-assurance, coupled with Alvy's obsession with death and his seeming inability to enjoy himself ('Life is divided between the horrible and the miserable'), spelt trouble for their affair. Annie Hall is a bittersweet comedic masterpiece, rich in irony, invention, romantic insights and classic Woody Allen one-liners. It won Academy Awards for Best Director, Best Actress, Best Original Screenplay and Best Picture of 1977.

A collection of 52 pieces of writing displaying Woody Allen's own brand of humour.

The Long-Awaited, Enormously Entertaining Memoir by One of the Great Artists of Our Time--Now a New York Times, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Publisher's Weekly Bestseller. In this candid and often hilarious memoir, the celebrated director, comedian, writer, and actor offers a comprehensive, personal look at his tumultuous life. Beginning with his Brooklyn childhood and his stint as a writer for the Sid Caesar variety show in the early days of television, working alongside comedy greats, Allen tells of his difficult early days doing standup before he achieved recognition and success. With his unique storytelling pizzazz, he recounts his departure into moviemaking, with such slapstick comedies as Take the Money and Run, and revisits his entire, sixty-year-long, and enormously productive career as a writer and director, from his classics Annie Hall, Manhattan, and Annie and Her Sisters to his most recent films, including Midnight in Paris. Along the way, he discusses his marriages, his romances and famous friendships, his jazz playing, and his books and plays. We learn about his demons, his mistakes, his successes, and those he loved, worked with, and learned from in equal measure. This is a hugely entertaining, deeply honest, rich and brilliant self-portrait of a celebrated artist who is ranked among the greatest filmmakers of our time.

Short Plays / Comedy / 2m, 3f / 3 ints. This long-running Off Broadway hit features the work of three gifted playwrights. David Mamet's AN INTERVIEW is an oblique, mystifying interrogation. A sleazy lawyer is forced to answer difficult questions and to admit the truth about his life and career. The why and where of the interrogation provide a surprise ending to this brilliant twenty minute comedy. In HOTLINE by Elaine May, a neurotic woman with enough urban angst to fill a neighborhood calls a suicide crisis hotline late one night. The counselor who gets the call is overwhelmed - it is his first night on the job. This dark and desperate, wildly funny forty minute piece ends Act 1. A well to do psychiatrist has just discovered that her best friend is having an affair with her husband in Woody Allen's wildly comic second act, CENTRAL PARK WEST. She has invited the friend over for a confrontation after getting thoroughly soused. Meanwhile, the husband is about to run off with a college student. CENTRAL PARK WEST provides an hour of constant hilarity. "A wealth of laughter."-N.Y. Newsday "Lighter than air, an elegant diversion."-N.Y. Times

Multi-Oscar-winning and still amazingly prolific, Woody Allen remains one of the truly great figures in American humour and American cinema. This career-length interview with Stig Bjorkman - editor of a similar volume on one of Allen's own heroes, Ingmar Bergman - traces the path of his career, his motivations and inspirations, and of course his nigh-legendary anxieties. Newly updated, the book contains discussion of such recent Allen triumphs as Bullets Over Broadway, Mighty Aphrodite, Deconstructing Harry, and Sweet and Lowdown.

Comprising the classic bestsellers "Getting Even, Without Feathers," and "Side Effects," this definitive collection of comic writings is from a man who needs no Introduction. Really-this book has no Introduction.
"The Insanity Defense" reveals many sides of Woody Allen as he holds forth on the most human of urges ("Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only for food: frequently there must be a beverage"); reflects on death ("I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear"); and notes the effect on history wrought by trick chewing gum, the dribble glass, and other novelties. There is also an inspiring story of the futile race to beat Dr. Heimlich to the punch: "The food went down the wrong pipe, and choking occurred. Grasping the mouse firmly by the tail, I snapped it like a small whip, and the morsel of cheese came loose. If we can transfer the procedure to humans, we may have something. Too early to tell."
All Woody Allen fans will cherish this uproarious treasury-and those who don't enjoy The Insanity Defense are just plain crazy.
"If you don't care if you break into helpless whoops of laughter on buses, trains, or wherever you happen to be reading it."
"-Chicago Tribune," on "Without Feathers"
"Brilliant flights of fancy whose comic detail and inspired silliness are at once dramatic and controlled."
"-The New York Times, " on "Side Effects"

Here, in his first collection since his three hilarious classics "Getting Even," "Without Feathers," and "Side Effects," Woody Allen has managed to write a book that not only answers the most profound questions of human existence but is also the perfect size to place under any short table leg to prevent wobbling.
In hysterical flights of inspirational sanity we are introduced to a cast of characters only Allen could imagine: Jasper Nutmeat, Flanders Mealworm, and the independent film mogul E. Coli Biggs, just to name a few. Whether he is writing about art, sex, food, or crime, he is explosively funny. In "This Nib for Hire," a Hollywood bigwig comes across an author's book in a little country store and describes it in a way that aptly captures this magnificent volume: "Actually," the producer says, "I'd never seen a book remaindered in the kindling section before."
Praise for "Mere Anarchy":
INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER
"The stories in" "Mere Anarchy deliver the same joys and foibles that have been with its author from the start."
-Janet Maslin, " The New York Times"
"Uproarious . . . In each story the ornate and the vulgate slam together and make it rain polysyllabic absurdity."
"-The Wall Street Journal"
"Nostalgically enjoyable . . . The stories in "Mere Anarchy "deliver the same joys and foibles that have been with its author from the start."
"-The New York Times"
"Brilliant neurotica . . . unfailingly entertaining . . . [an] obsessive and seriously funny book."
"-Los Angeles Times Book Review "
"Like the Carnegie's one-pound sandwiches, Allen's literary slapstick is . . . comedy on wry."
"-USA Today"

The classic, with 316,000 copies sold to date.

Three delightful one-act plays set in and around New York, in which sophisticated characters confound one another in ways only Woody Allen could imagine
Woody Allen's first dramatic writing published in years, "Riverside Drive," "Old Saybrook," and "Central Park West" are humorous, insightful, and unusually readable plays about infidelity. The characters, archetypal New Yorkers all, start out talking innocently enough, but soon the most unexpected things arise--and the reader enjoys every minute of it (though not all the characters do).
These plays (successfully produced on the New York stage and in regional theaters on the East Coast) dramatize Allen's continuing preoccupation with people who rationalize their actions, hide what they're doing, and inevitably slip into sexual deception--all of it revealed in Allen's quintessentially pell-mell dialogue.

Here they are--some of the funniest tales and ruminations ever put into print, by one of the great comic minds of our time. From THE WHORE OF MENSA, to GOD (A Play), to NO KADDISH FOR WEINSTEIN, old and new Woody Allen fans will laugh themselves hysterical over these sparkling gems.

'I am greatly relieved that the universe is finally explainable. I was beginning to think it was me.' Thus begins 'Strung Out', Woody Allen's hilarious application of the laws of the universe to daily life. Mere Anarchy, Woody Allen's first collection in over 25 years, features eighteen witty, wild and intelligent comic pieces - eight of which have never been in print before. Surreal, absurd, rich in verbal play, bitingly satirical and just plain daft in the mode we have grown to love from his finest films, this flight-of-fancy collection includes tales of a body double who, mistaken for the film's star, is kidnapped by outlaws; a pretentious novelist forced to work on the novelisation of a Three Stooges film; a nanny secretly writing an expose of her Manhattan employers; crooks selling bespoke prayers on eBay; and how to react when you're asked to finance a Broadway play about the invention and manufacture of the adjustable showerhead.