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First published in 1996. This new book gives voice to an emerging
consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the
grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model
holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with
the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new
relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined
in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals
that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity
than on any substantial data of what people actually do. Presenting
data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most
respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution
of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the
deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by
professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going
lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the
deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the
present. Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children,
parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from
bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement
in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and
implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of
research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for
significant developments in clinical practice in the field.
Widow to Widow shares the experiences of widows who have found
comfort and continuity in mutual-help and community support
programs. In the second edition of her pioneering text, Phyllis
Silverman brings the success of the original widow-to-widow program
into the 21st century, preparing a new generation of community
leaders, clergy, counselors, hospice staff, social workers, and the
widowed themselves to organize and implement mutual-help programs.
Many modern theories hold that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, freeing the survivor to develop new relationships. This work, however, argues that proper resolution of grief should enable one to develop and maintain a continuing healthy bond with the deceased.
The Denmark Vesey slave revolt of 1822 was one of the most massive
slave revolts ever planned, involving an estimated 9,000 slaves.
The plot was discovered only two days before the scheduled
uprising. In the aftermath, over 100 slaves were arrested, 35
executed. One of the slaves executed was an African-born conjurer
names Gullah Jack Pritchard. He recruited his fellow Angolan
countrymen by promising them protection with the magic charms he
distributed. His cunning, persuasion and knowledge of African
religion induced many to enlist in the ill-fated revolt. Though
much has been written about Denmark Vesey, this monograph is the
first to detail the importance of Gullah Jack in the insurrection.
It integrates original documents along with narrative detailing the
life of Gullah Jack prior to and during the planned insurrection.
The original documents, providing the flavor of the time, have been
duplicated as close to their original format as possible.
When children lose someone they love, they lose part of their very
identity. Life, as they knew it, will never be quite the same. The
world that once felt dependable and safe may suddenly seem a
frightening, uncertain place, where nobody understands what they're
feeling.
In this deeply sympathetic book, Phyllis R. Silverman and Madelyn
Kelly offer wise guidance on virtually every aspect of childhood
loss, from living with someone who's dying to preparing the
funeral; from explaining death to a two year old to managing the
moods of a grieving teenager; from dealing with people who don't
understand to learning how and where to get help from friends,
therapists, and bereavement groups; from developing a new sense of
self to continuing a relationship with the person who died.
Throughout, the authors advocate an open, honest approach,
suggesting that our instinctive desire to "protect" children from
the reality of death may be more harmful than helpful. "Children
want you to acknowledge what is happening, to help them understand
it," the authors suggest. "In this way, they learn to trust their
own ability to make sense out of what they see." Drawing on
groundbreaking research into what bereaved children are really
experiencing, and quoting real conversations with parents and
children who have walked that road, the book allows readers to see
what others have learned from mourning and surviving the death of a
loved one. In a culture where grief is so often invisible and
misunderstood, the wisdom derived from such first-hand experience
is invaluable.
Filled with compassion and common sense, A Parent's Guide to
Raising Grieving Children: Rebuilding Your Family after the Loss of
a Loved One offers readers a wealth of solace and sound advice, and
even--where one might least expect it--a measure of hope.
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