'A remarkable book...wise and arresting' Sarah Winman 'Exquisite... a deeply insightful memoir which charts our fundamental longings for place and identity, and ultimately our yearnings for love.' Helena Kennedy Single, in her mid-forties and having experienced a sudden early menopause, a realisation comes to Peggy quietly, and clearly: she decides to adopt a child. But the preparation is arduous and the scrutiny intense. There are questions about past lives, about capability and expectations. Asking big questions about identity and belonging, as well as about what makes a mother - and a home - this is a beautiful meditation on how the legacies of childhood might be overcome by a mother's determination to love. 'Extremely moving...an unusually thoughtful take on becoming a mother, enabled by removing babyhood and biology.' Guardian

The biographies of adopted and foster children are often shaped by bad experiences, inadequate care and a lack of loving contact. In the everyday life of adoptive and foster families, adverse effects from traumatic experiences come to life again and again. How can concerned parents cater to the special needs of these children? You spend most of your time with them and are very important to the healing process. In everyday communication with parents, fantasies, affects and needs often unfold, which, if understood and answered sympathetically, lead to positive development. Communication psychology with the model of the inner team offers parents useful tools for dealing with traumatized children. Constanze Bossemeyer clearly shows how it can be used - also with the help of numerous color illustrations. The author is herself the mother of an adopted son.