Choice, Death, and the Aftermath

Fearfully and desperately wanting to hide my mistakes and deny the unwanted, but not totally unexpected ramifications of my earlier choices, I chose what seemed to be the easiest answer. I chose death, and then I moved into the aftermath of my choice. I, for a lifetime and beyond, will live in the aftermath of my choice. Although there is recovery, through forgiveness, there are lasting ramifications. No one told me that the ramifications of my choice would last forever. No one told me what my choice would do to my heart. No one told me that my choice was, in fact, a death sentence for my baby.

Are you, or someone you know, facing an unwanted pregnancy? Are you wondering if "choice" is the answer, the easiest solution?

After the "choice" comes the aftermath. A living choice not only gives life to a baby, but results in an aftermath of life. Abortion results in an aftermath forever shrouded in death, death of a baby, perhaps death of your own baby. For those struggling with the aftermath of abortion, you and your loved ones can find forgiveness.

This book is for:

Teenage moms wrestling with choice and an unplanned pregnancy

Loved ones who are seeking resolution after abortion

Anyone who needs hope and healing after abortion

This book is a great tool for teen pregnancy educators, pregnancy center advisors, and those seeking to learn more about the emotional struggles, post abortion. It is written out of love and understanding by a woman who thought her choice was the best answer. Whether or not you are a Christian, you will be inspired by the author's incredible faith, without which it would have been impossible to write this book.

Through my story, I pray that you will know that a living choice is the only real choice.

Join me in my story of running from my mistakes, hiding my choice, and slogging through the aftermath. Come with me as I discover a new truth about an old choice. Join me as I struggle with guilt and heartfelt shame, knowing the new truth. Observe the aftermath.

What choice would you have made? What choice would you recommend?

About the author

Sheila and her husband Wayne have been blessed with two beautiful daughters. She is currently on the Board of Directors of Elizabeth Ministry International and Wisconsin Right to Life. In 2010, Sheila received a certificate in equipping from The Masters Institute.

Sheila began her career following college working as an engineer for IBM. After three years, she resigned to attend law school at Marquette University Law School, graduating in 1985. In 2003, after nearly twenty years of being employed full-time as an attorney, Sheila retired and accepted God's call to begin writing Christian books and speaking for a variety of Christian organizations and schools. Sheila's current books include three Bible studies:

The Challenge of Change: Careers, Callings and Work-Life Crossroads

My Secret Loss: Finding Life after Abortion

Grapple with Guilt, Shed the Shame

Honey from a Thorn is told from the alternating viewpoints of two mothers. Anonymous to one another, their paths intersect through their adult daughter, Laura. Caught in a conundrum where neither mother is allowed to claim the exclusive title, both have paid a price for their maternity. Their sacrifices are revealed as their stories unfold, offering insights into the hidden costs of secrets and the joy and pain in human relationships. The reader follows their convergent courses as Liz, Laura's biological mother, struggles to discover the fate of her lost child and Carolyn, her adoptive mother, struggles to hold onto her daughter, challenging them to define and accept their motherhood.

Initially apprehensive about becoming a mother, Emma mapped out her life plans steered by fulfillment of a happy marriage and career. She thought she might one day feel ready and willing to add the role of mother to her life's responsibilities, but she had not quite figured out when that would occur. When Emma's biological clock smacked her upside the head and she suddenly craved motherhood over every other aspect of life, she was stunned to discover that she could not get pregnant. After a year of ovulation test kits and timed baby making under her belt, it was inevitable that other avenues needed exploration. After pursuing every option, including adoption, Emma learned that becoming a parent was not as simple a process as she had always envisioned.

What happens when all that is familiar disappears...when everything you see, taste, smell, feel, hear....is suddenly gone and lost to the other side of the world? Enter the world of An-Ya and Her Diary... 'An-Ya and Her Diary' chronicles the journey of an 11 year old adoptee from China. Written in diary format, young An-Ya reveals her emotional journey as she is catapulted from a Chinese orphanage into a middle class home in America. The diary, into which she journals, was the only item left with An-Ya when she was found as an infant. For 11 years An-Ya has left the diary blank as she patiently waited in China for her biological family to return. Ultimately, after her adoption to America, she feels compelled to write her story down. Inside her diary she strives to connect the two severed worlds in which she has lived. An-Ya's story is one of incredible loss, filled with painful transitions and longed for hope. It is a story that will linger with you after its final page is turned.

This true, heartwarming story reveals that miracles occur in everyday life. Enjoyable and uplifting, "One Kid at a Time" will empower--and encourage--everyone who reads it.

Danny had no chance. His mother abandoned him. His father in prison didn't know him. His grandmother beat him so badly that the doctors couldn't count the bruises. He lived nonstop days of unending anxiety, loneliness and terror. Ordered into foster care, the system isolated, drugged and betrayed him.

Jake lived the good life. Warm friendships, plenty of money and freedom to do what he enjoyed. From the outside he had the perfect existence. But inside he longed for a child.

"Dekker's ability...is striking. It would be easy for a memoir dealing with this subject to veer into an angry, ranting outburst, but Dekker's restrained writing conveys the chaos with refined dignity. Dekker is refreshingly honest...Which makes the story all the more poignant and inspiring." - "Kirkus Reviews"

"Positive, inspiring, exemplary and deeply spiritual. "One Kid at a Time" is an instant classic. I loved it." --The Reverend Mel White, author of "Stranger at the Gate"

99 Things You Wish You Knew Before ... Choosing Adoption is your comprehensive guide to help you through your adoption journey. If you have ever been interested in adoption-as a prospective adoptive family, a birth parent, or even as an adoption practitioner-this book is for you It addresses the mysteries and myths that surround and permeate the adoption process, simplifying them for the non-lawyer and keeping the reader entertained all the while. Fear not the adoption process The Kaskys, with their 60+ years of combined experience, efficiently answer all of your questions in a straightforward no-nonsense manner.

None had a home, most had a name, but all had a story.

"Angels Passing Through" is the true story of a childhood dominated by the ebb and flow of over forty foster babies entering and exiting a young boy's life. Collectively, these babies have died, disappeared, been given up, and come damaged. This was not an isolated experience; it was a lifestyle. Human bonds were torn asunder on a regular basis. This is a story of these babies-the joys, the pain, and the emotional aftermath left in their wake.

"Angels Passing Through" is sure to touch your heart and open your eyes to a unique, seldom-heard perspective. This compelling chronicle is a must-read for anyone who has ever been involved in foster care, is considering becoming involved, or simply has been touched by a baby's innocence.

25% of the net proceeds from the sale of each book will be donated to The Children's Home Society of NJ, a non-profit organization dedicated to saving children's lives and building healthy families since 1894.

For many couples, the joy of finding out they are expecting a child is enough to fill a household with celebration. Each year millions of couples find out the good news and to about the long process of preparing for a new addition to the family.

For others, that day never comes...even with all the science and determination in the world, some couples face an empty nursery filled with empty hope for a family.

Traditional adoption comes with a scarcity of babies, paperwork and agency red tape.

Dear Child details 4 very separate and heartfelt journeys into the world of open adoption; where the birth mother and adoptive parents are both involved in the life of the child.

All of the fears, joys, hurdles and exhilaration of this process are chronicled in Dear Child.

The author is: an adoptee, an adoptive mother, a biological mother, a birth grandmother and a grandmother of 7 grandchildren. She was conceived as a result of rape. This novel begins with the first of many choices that are demanded when an unexpected pregnancy begins. The choices available in 1953 were not those of the 1970s, nor in 2001. Choices have been shaped by cultural expectations. Choices made echo thorugh each proceeding day, month, year and decade. The child, the mother, siblings, partners, adoptive parents, and grandparents are all impacted by each choice made.

'A remarkable book...wise and arresting' Sarah Winman 'Exquisite... a deeply insightful memoir which charts our fundamental longings for place and identity, and ultimately our yearnings for love.' Helena Kennedy Single, in her mid-forties and having experienced a sudden early menopause, a realisation comes to Peggy quietly, and clearly: she decides to adopt a child. But the preparation is arduous and the scrutiny intense. There are questions about past lives, about capability and expectations. Asking big questions about identity and belonging, as well as about what makes a mother - and a home - this is a beautiful meditation on how the legacies of childhood might be overcome by a mother's determination to love. 'Extremely moving...an unusually thoughtful take on becoming a mother, enabled by removing babyhood and biology.' Guardian

This book is about being a woman, trying to be a mother, having a family, trying to make a family work, failing and succeeding. Essays run from family estrangement to reconciliation, adoption struggles and recognizing the other mothers of adopted children, strengthening family ties by fighting the rats in the basement together, and realizing that, fundamentally, we all have it in us to be mothers if that is what we want for ourselves. The book is short, just 15 essays, each chosen because it represents an important event or point of view. The stories are not all happy ones. Raising children is a long tale that, if honestly told, has many regrettable chapters. Those chapters have great value if for no other reason than they make the happy times truly remarkable instead of common.

A TELL ALL BOOK WRITTEN FOR PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS: Adoptive applicants are required to pass a homestudy before being approved to adopt. Up until now applicants have faced the homestudy process with feelings of vulnerability, intimidation and uncertainty. Not anymore Revealing "Insider Secrets" never before disclosed - the country's top adoption professionals discuss how to reduce anxiety, boost your confidence and pass your homestudy effortlessly. Prepared for any homestudy situation that comes your way - you'll know exactly what to expect, what not to say, and the best way to respond to questions. Homestudy Boot Camp promises to be an invaluable tool to assist you in preparing for your homestudy. Utilizing straight forward discussions, practical advice and a little candid humor, expect our Boot Camp to whip you into shape quickly for the experience of a lifetime

A haunting memoir of a tiny girl's journey through a life of hell. After suffering the death of both of her biological parents due to their drug addiction, Natalie Winters was placed in a Texas Foster home where she was emotionally, physically, and sexually abused. In A Secret Star, Natalie shares the horror stories and dark moments of despair that filled her world. Even as the events are detailed within these pages, no one could ever understand the depth of abandonment, abuse, and absence of love she felt. Natalie struggled during these horrible times wondering what light to seek and what star to wish upon. Even when there seemed no glimmer of hope or rescue, Natalie still found a wish that gave her just enough hope to endure. Just as the stars continue to twinkle whether they are visible or not, Natalie discovered that true light doesn't appear at the end of a long, hard road. True light comes from within and offers solace and comfort in the darkest hours. Most people live their whole lives unaware of this secret and empowering light, and it is often not discovered until someone shows us it's there. Natalie realized that even during her most traumatizing experiences, she was not alone. For even the darkest of skies, still have the sparkle of the stars.

How do we find ourselves again after the soul-shattering experience of surrendering a child to adoption? What does our journey toward healing mean for our families and loved ones, for society and most of all for our children and their adoptive family? Searching ..., Carol Schaefer's sequel to her acclaimed memoir, The Other Mother: A Woman's Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption, not only takes the reader through the complex challenges of integrating her son and his adoptive family with her own over the twenty-seven years since their reunion, she also draws on extensive research as well as the stories of others to offer guidance and hope for creating enriching relationships after reunion. Woven within the narrative is Schaefer's remarkable creative journey from overcoming her fears of publicly telling her story, through the book's writing and publication, to the experience of the NBC movie version airing before an audience of 25 million viewers - thirty years after she was hidden away in a home for unwed mothers to conceal her "disgraceful" secret. "Carol Schaefer is a gifted and eloquent writer. Searching ... is one person's story, but it gives us a lens with which to see the complexity and challenges that adoption brings to everyone that it touches. This book should be required for all who live and work in the world of adoption." Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Lecturer in Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School and Founder and Director of Riverside After Adoption Consulting and Training "Carol Schaefer's new book is wonderfully written and genuinely important. It is certainly about adoption, but it is much more than that; it transcends one person's journey to provide insights into the human experience." Adam Pertman, Author of Adoption Nation and President of the Donaldson Adoption Institute "Searching ... is an exciting new book, and the title is appropriate on many levels. The author gives wonderful insight into the expectations and misunderstandings that derail reunions. Not only do we need to keep searching for ways to make reunions gratifying for everyone concerned, but we would also do well to follow Carol's example of finding meaning in what we do. I highly recommend this book to everyone in the adoption community and beyond." Nancy Verrier, MFT, Author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home to Self

Baylard Bear knows what it's like to be different. When just a few weeks old, he was wrapped in a blanket of moss and left on the steps of a human orphanage by his bear parents because they realized they weren't going to be able to give him the life he deserved. They made the hardest - and most unselfish - decision any loving parent can ... they gave their beloved baby boy up for adoption. Follow Baylard as he comes to terms with his unique skills and setbacks, eventually gets adopted and ventures out into the big wide world

Foster caring is as challenging as it is rewarding. There is a school of thought that if one is interested in fostering, then one can become a foster carer. Considering the many problems that surface on a day-to-day basis in a given fostering environment, it takes much more that interest in fostering to make fostering work. 'Family Matters' frankly discusses what fostering entails and clearly demonstrates how Mohammed and Sharon Lahrichi have had a reasonable degree of success in their fostering work. It documents cases that tell how foster children as well as biological children interpret their lived experiences as children of the same household. It is a book that foster carers, social workers and all those who involve in care work should read. In fact, it will make an interesting read for all members of any given family. 'Family Matters' also advances the idea that fostering is a work of love, which should be taken seriously, but which also should be celebrated in spite of the range of emotions that foster caring is capable of evoking.