Seven-year-old David Glum watches as his grandfather is abducted by
a legendary herd of elephants. Twenty years later, after failing to
sell his novel to a New York publisher, David returns to his
parents' home to focus on growing a beard, a goal he feels sure he
can accomplish. Once the beard reaches a respectable girth,
uncontrollable things begin happening around him. His mother
dies... maybe. His father might really be a man named Gary Wrench.
David is sure of only one thing: his family is cursed. It could
have something to do with an eternal flame his grandfather stole
from a possibly imaginary group of people called the Nefarions.
David and Wrench begin a surreal cross-country journey that might
have something to do with saving the world. Along the way they pass
through a number of absurd towns, meet some disagreeable people,
and discover an America that is radically different from the one
they thought they knew, a place where nothing can be accepted for
what it seems to be. And all the while, the beard grows, gaining
strength, leading them toward a distant island that most people
think doesn't exist...
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