While much attention has been devoted to connections in American
families between husbands and wives and between parents and
children, We Grew Up Together enters virtually uncharted territory
by exploring the emotional relationships among siblings.
Through the letters brothers and sisters wrote to each other
over the course of nearly a century (1840-1920), Annette Atkins
reveals the inner workings of ten nineteenth-century families,
illuminating their everyday lives and central relationships.
Drawing on the insights of Alfred Adler and others, Atkins examines
the varying dynamics of "warm" and "cool" families, clothing theory
in the human relations revealed by the letters. She looks at
families located in various regions, families headed to the
frontier, obscure families, and prominent names such as the Blairs
of Washington, D.C.
The correspondence between brothers and sisters sheds light not
only on the emotional fabric of their families but also on the way
they learn to express themselves. Atkins shows how siblings tutored
each other in friendship, authority, cooperation and competition,
dependence and independence. They learned from each other how to
express (or repress) emotions, how to see themselves, and how to be
in the world.
By exploring individual families in intimate detail, We Grew Up
Together counters simplistic notions of traditional family life in
an earlier era. Through family upheaval, abandonment, divorce,
death, and conflict, siblings sustained vital familial links with
each other, providing connection, stability, permanence, and
emotional grounding that often persisted throughout their
lives.
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