Why are Americans so bad at marriage? It's certainly not for lack
of trying. By the early 21st century Americans were spending
billions on marriage and family counseling, seeking advice and
guidance from some 50,000 experts. And yet, the divorce rate
suggests that all of this therapeutic intervention isn't making
couples happier or marriages more durable. Quite the contrary, Ian
Dowbiggin tells us in this thought-provoking book: the "caring
industry" is part of the problem.
Under the influence of therapeutic reformers, marital and
familial dynamics in this country have shifted from mores and
commitment to love and companionship. This movement toward a "me
marriage," as the "New York Times" has termed it, with its
attendant soaring expectations and acute dissatisfactions, is
rooted as much in the twists and turns of 20th-century history as
it is in the realities in the hearts and minds of modern Americans,
Dowbiggin argues; and his book reveals how effectively those
changes have been encouraged and orchestrated by a small but
resourceful group of social reformers with ties to eugenics, birth
control, population control, and sex education.
In "The Search for Domestic Bliss," Dowbiggin delves into the
stories of the usual suspects in the founding of the therapeutic
gospel, exposing little known aspects of their influence and
misunderstood features of their work. Here we learn, for instance,
that Betty Friedan did not after all discover "the problem that
knows no name"--the widespread unhappiness of women in mid-century
America; and that, like Friedan, one of the pioneers of marriage
counseling was an open admirer of Stalin's Russia. The book also
explores the long overlooked impact of sex researchers Alfred
Kinsey and Masters and Johnson on the development of marriage and
family counseling; and considers the under-appreciated
contributions to the marriage counseling movement of social
reformer and activist Emily Mudd.
Through these and other reform-minded Americans, Dowbiggin
traces the concerted and deliberate way in which the old order of
looking to family and community for guidance gave way to seeking
guidance from marriage and family counseling professionals. Such a
transformation, as this book makes clear, has been a key part of a
major revolution in the way Americans think about their inner
selves and their relations with friends, family, and community
members--a revolution in which once deeply private concerns have
been redefined as grave matters of public mental health.
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