This text explored gay male carers experience of caring for their
partner, brother or friend who had HIV/AIDS. Through using
phenomenological methodology (van Manen, 1990), the day-to-day
caring experiences were uncovered. The data gathered was then
analysed through a nursing lens, with the concept of stigma as an
anchoring point. The dual stigmas of homophobia and AIDS phobia
impacted on the daily lives of these men as they cared for their
loved one. The research identified six themes. These were: 1) the
relationship; 2) coping with HIV and AIDS; 3) the corporal impact
of HIV/AIDS; 4) experiences of carers including the absence of
others; 5) living daily with the virus demands of people living
with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA); and 6) saying goodbye, while keeping the
memory alive. The carers struggled with not only the demands of
day-to-day care, but also with non-acceptance from family, both of
the nature of the relationship with their partner and of their
homosexuality. Family members were forced, often with great
difficulty, to acknowledge the close commitment the men had to each
other.
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