"God only knows how many diverse, captivating impressions and
thoughts evoked by these impressions . . . pass in a single day. If
it were only possible to render them in such a way that I could
easily read myself and that others could read me as I do. . ." Such
was the desire of the young Tolstoy. Although he knew that this
narrative utopia turning the totality of his life into a book would
remain unfulfilled, Tolstoy would spend the rest of his life
attempting to achieve it. "Who, What Am I?" is an account of
Tolstoy's lifelong attempt to find adequate ways to represent the
self, to probe its limits and, ultimately, to arrive at an identity
not based on the bodily self and its accumulated life
experience.
This book guides readers through the voluminous, highly personal
nonfiction writings that Tolstoy produced from the 1850s until his
death in 1910. The variety of these texts is enormous, including
diaries, religious tracts, personal confessions, letters,
autobiographical fragments, and the meticulous accounts of dreams.
For Tolstoy, inherent in the structure of the narrative form was a
conception of life that accorded linear temporal order a
predominant role, and this implied finitude. He refused to accept
that human life stopped with death and that the self was limited to
what could be remembered and told. In short, his was a
philosophical and religious quest, and he followed in the footsteps
of many, from Plato and Augustine to Rousseau and Schopenhauer. In
reconstructing Tolstoy's struggles, this book reflects on the
problems of self and narrative as well as provides an intellectual
and psychological biography of the writer."
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