'PTSD, A Lesser Known Kind: Surviving Religious Dogma, ' 2013
(formerly titled 'PTSD of a Lesser Known Kind: An Allegory, '
2011), re-titled its new name in the spring of 2013, is a very
unusual and complex hybrid of fiction and nonfiction. Coming from a
violent, loveless upbringing, Alan, aka Tokee, took to interstate
hitchhiking and train-hopping at an early age. Every city, every
town, every village he came upon, deep within his soul there was
this tantalizing expectation that maybe this is the place or maybe
that is the place where he can finally fit, where he can finally
feel the security of true parental love. Oh did he long for that
frustratingly elusive love. Ironically, it was that hunger for love
which made the young traveler so vulnerable. As the unloved inner
child incessantly groaned in screaming silence for love and found
it not, Alan, as he was called for most his life, reverted to the
thing he had always turned to as a child when violated by his
parents, by his uncle and thereafter by sadistic attendants in an
institution for boys, namely FANTASY. Truly, fantasy had become
Alan's sole refuge, his unfailing source of comfort, his safe haven
from the strange cruelness he had known. The insecure 19-year-old
hobo then surrendered to the greatest fantasy of all, Christianity.
It was a fantasy readymade with a father, virgin mother,
supernatural son---the whole fam'. At last Now he had found his
place Now Alan had found what he yearned for all his life, family
acceptance, and infinitely more, loving parental figures from
another world who loved him unconditionally. Yet there is no such
thing as 'unconditional love' in the elaborate illusion that is
Christianity. Quite the contrary, it is based upon very specific,
very conditional demands which absolutely must be met if one is to
continue finding family acceptance with "God." When Alan began to
recognize that conditional love is not love at all---i. e. "do this
or else "---he became overwhelmed with hurt and rebellion. And the
more the lies of Christianity became exposed, the angrier he got.
This went on till an implosive, irreconcilable end came. The
tumultuousness of that severing also resulted in Alan's suffering a
form of PTSD, A Lesser Known Kind. This is the fictional lead of
this tale. The nonfictional side, roughly half of this book, is the
animated polemic against Christianity by the author. And that, rest
assured, speaks in no uncertain terms for itself.
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