I first must share with you that I am bipolar. My mother said that
I have been bipolar all my life. I was not diagnosed with bipolar
until I was 33 years old. My family just thought I was eccentric
and I thought I was having visions from GOD. My Faith was wrapped
up with my visions and hence I believed that the mania was somehow
messages from GOD. I have both auditory and visual illusions and I
still believe that these illusions are visions from GOD. The
delusions came from trying to interpret those visions. After I was
diagnosed with bipolar I no longer try to make sense of these
visions. Instead of seeing myself cursed with a mental disorder I
saw myself blessed with insights that help me think about my world
environment around me. My Faith is still wrapped up with my
visions. My mania, which I call my visions, are like Lewis
Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." But when I am in
clinical depression it is like a hammer of reality that feels like
I am being held down by a whale. I welcome you to my world of
visions. However, just remember that these visions are only mania.
I cannot produce miracles. I have no powers beyond any normal human
beings. Nevertheless, these visions are wrapped up with my Faith in
GOD. I see them as a gift from GOD and not as a curse. I take my
medicine which minimizes the visions so that I can function
normally. The visions I had before 21 were all spiritual visions.
However, at 21 years old I have learned a great deal of science.
The visions took three different path; sometime spirituals,
sometimes science, and sometimes both.
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