An Islamo-facist terrorist with shifty eyes who ends up being
nothing more than a red herring. A CNN anchorwoman who is too
attractive to have gotten her job based solely on her questionable
credentials. A wizened and respected CNN anchorman whose famous
beard could be its own situation room topic. A nuclear physicist
with precognitive abilities and fondness for being killed by buses
in the first act. A black man/rap mogul who goes against type and
actually lives to the end of the movie. A flatfooted rookie cop who
kills a lot of people before all is said and done. A liberal
congressman who never met a regulation he didn't like. An aging
movie star desperate for attention. Two British Lords ripped from
their own time and get a lesson in modern racial etiquette and
fighting techniques. A teenage girl on a journey of self-discovery
and other-discovery. Two sarcastic Gen Xers who die and nobody
cares that they die. A spaced-out feminist folk singer with hairy
armpits and terribly broad definitions of rape. A nameless couple
who fights all the time and use their kids as emotional weapons
against each other. Two Mafia musclemen who try their hardest to
not bolster stereotypes about their culture. What do these people
have in common? In the real world; absolutely nothing. In my
fantasy world I've thought up so I can escape the harsh and
overbearing realities of life? Everything. They come together
(except for the fighting couple; they're just filler material and
give me some space to backhandedly complain about the bad parents
of the world I see) and stop a diabolical villain from blowing up
New York City.
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