Daddy Misses Kisses and Candy at War By Kathy Barnes, Ph.D. And
Jody Berg Gives parents ways to encourage 'feeling talk' when a
daddy or mommy goes to war. "Avoiding feelings makes behavior
worse." If you are Cora and are three, four or five years old, life
is exciting and full of extremes. You run laughing loudly, and then
suddenly you start screaming and crying. Your mom leans over to hug
you and you hit her, yelling, "I want my daddy, not you " As Cora's
mom, you try not to get your feelings hurt, but you are so tired
from taking care of her, the house, and balancing the checkbook by
yourself. Why complain? you shrug. I have no choice. My husband is
fighting in Iraq. But Cora's behavior is perplexing, painful, and
frustrating. When moms or dads read Daddy Misses Kisses and Candy
at War with their child, the pictures, story, and questions on the
pages will comfort both. Mom and child will learn to put words to
feelings. "I'm mad at my daddy, dear Mommy, dear Mommy, I pick up
the phone and call Daddy home. I promise, I'll be good and eat
yucky food, when he doesn't come home, I'm in a bad mood." Mom asks
Cora, "What food do you think is yucky?" and Cora lists lima beans
and lemons. Then Mom rocks her, saying, "Come to me Cora, when
you're mad, dear Cora, We'll snuggle and cuddle and share with God.
Pick up your crayons and squiggle in red. Go you your room and
pound on your bed." Cora feels understood and is learning what to
do when she is mad. At night, nap time and scary, sad times, moms,
dads, and their small children will read and re-read our book and
learn how to share feelings. Praise for Daddy Misses Kisses and
Candy at War "The children in our preschool program loved
therhyming and repetition and pictures in the book. They kept
interrupting, saying, 'My friend Susie's daddy is over in that
place too.' They went to lunch singing, 'Come to me Cora, dear
Cora, dear Cora.'" - Sherry Clow, director of a preschool program.
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