"The man next to me is jacking off," said the blonde to her
girlfriend as they sat in the movie theater. "Ignore him." "I
can't," said the blonde. "He's using my hand." How do we know that
God isn't blonde? If she were, sperm would taste like chocolate.
What are Vanna White's favorite consonants? North and South
America. What do you call two blondes standing on either side of a
friend with a broken leg? Support hos. Why'd the blonde get fired
from the sperm bank? Drinking on the job Why'd the blond give up
moose hunting? The decoys were too heavy. What is gross stupidity?
144 blondes. Why'd the blonde fail Biology? Instead of dissecting
frogs she was busy opening flies. "What's the difference," the nun
asked the class, "between fornication and adultery?" "I've tried
both," said the blonde, "and actually they are pretty similar." "I
don't know what you see in him," said the brunette, "he's just an
everyday kind of guy." The blonde replied, "What more could you ask
for?" Why aren't blondes pharmacists? Because they can't get those
little bottles into the typewriters. Did you hear about the blonde
admiral who wanted to be buried at sea? Three of his sons drowned
digging the grave. The blonde went to the campus clinic and had the
intern remove a wad of red wax from her belly button. "How ever,"
asked the intern, "did you acquire a lump of wax in your belly
button?" "My boyfriend eats by candlelight." "What do you take for
a sore throat?" one blonde asked a brunette. "I just suck on a Life
Saver." "That's easy for you; you live at the beach." A coed
reminiscing about her childhood asked her blonde roommate, "Did you
play with jacks when you were little?" "Yes. And Paul's, Chuck's,
Bobby's..." A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into the
women's locker room after a workout. Suddenly an erect cock
protruded from a shower stall. The redhead said, "That's not my
husband." The brunette said, "That's not my husband or my lover."
The blonde said, "He's not even a member of this club." How did the
boss know that his new secretary was a blonde? The white-out on the
computer screen. Did you hear about the blonde who moved from
California to Mississippi? She raised the IQ of both states. How'd
the blonde hemophiliac die? She tried acupuncture. A blonde said to
her analyst: "Every time I drink I end up in a three-way or a
gang-fuck and I feel guilty about it for weeks." "It's obvious that
you have to quit drinking." "Can't you just do something about the
guilt?" At the New Year's Eve party one blonde said to the other,
"If I'm not in bed by midnight I'm going home." A blonde goes to
heaven and St. Peter says, "Cause of death?" "Herpes." "You don't
die from herpes." "You do when you give it to Big Dave." What do
blondes call underwear? Ankle warmers. Why do blondes have two sets
of lips? So they can piss and moan at the same time. What do you
call a blonde pulling off her pantyhose? Foreplay. What do you call
a blonde with genital herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, and AIDS? An
incurable romantic. Did you hear about the blonde who set her pussy
on fire on the Fourth of July? She lit the fuse to her tampon. Did
you hear about the blonde that went fishing with 14 guys? They all
limited out; all she got was a red snapper. Why'd the blonde spend
20 minutes staring at the orange juice carton? Because it said
Concentrate. An American blonde in France is raped by a gang of
twelve men. The local police chief is shocked and embarrassed and
says, "We will, madam, apprehend all twelve suspects." "Don't
bother," she says. "Just get number two, number seven and number
nine." "Mother?" asked the new bride, "how can I make my new
husband happy?" "Love," said the mother, "can be a beautiful bond
between two people who respect each other's needs..." I know how to
fuck, mom," said the girl. "I want you to teach me how to make
meatloaf." Many many more blonde jokes inside.
General
Imprint: |
Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
|
Country of origin: |
United States |
Series: |
The Official ------- Jokebook, 1 |
Release date: |
June 2013 |
First published: |
June 2013 |
Authors: |
Rob Loughran
|
Dimensions: |
229 x 152 x 3mm (L x W x T) |
Format: |
Paperback - Trade
|
Pages: |
54 |
ISBN-13: |
978-1-4904-1655-7 |
Categories: |
Books >
Sport & Leisure >
Humour >
Jokes & riddles
Promotions
|
LSN: |
1-4904-1655-2 |
Barcode: |
9781490416557 |
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