Beet College is doomed...and nobody really cares. The Board of
Trustees, led by developer Joel Bollovate, has squandered the
endowment. Debutante-cum-self-styled-poet Matha Polite, an
indiscriminate radical with a four-student following, wants to
bring the institution down. Sweet-tempered terrorist hopeful Akim
Ben Ladin (ne Arthur Horowitz) sits in his off-campus cave and
dreams about blowing Beet up. Faculty members are too busy
concocting useless, trendy courses to do anything about it. Not to
mention that American higher education is going down the tubes, one
less lesser school isn't going to matter. So why is Professor Peace
Porterfield trying to save Beet? Beats us.
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