June was 9 years old when she came home from school and her
schizophrenic mother met her at the door, angrily demanding to
know, "Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?" In
another family, Tess repeatedly saw her mother wait outside church
then scream at family friends as the emerged, accusing them of
spying on and plotting to kill her. Five-year-old Tess and her
7-year-old brother would just cry, begging their mother to take
them home as onlookers stared. These are just two of the stories
gathered for this book as psychotherapist Nathiel conducted
interviews. The children, now adults, grew up with mentally ill
mothers at a time when mental illness was even more stigmatizing
than it is today. They are what Nathiel calls "the daughters of
madness," and their young lives were lived on shaky ground.
"Telling someone that there's mental illness in your family, and
watching the reaction is not for the faint-hearted," the therapist
says, quoting another's research. But, she adds, "Telling them that
it is your mother who is mentally ill certainly ups the ante." A
veteran therapist with 35 years experience, Nathiel takes us into
this traumatic world--with each of her chapters covering a major
developmental period for the daughter of a mentally ill mother--and
then explains how these now-adult daughters faced and coped with
mental illness in their mothers. While the stories of these
daughters are central to the book, Nathiel also offers her
professional insights into exactly how maternal impairment affects
infants, children, and adolescents. Women, significantly more than
men, are often diagnosed with serious mental illness after they
become parents. So what effect does a mentallyill mother have on a
growing child, teenager or adult daughter, who looks to her not
only for the deepest and most abiding love, but also a sense of
what the world is all about? Nathiel also makes accessible the
latest research on interpersonal neurobiology, attachment, and the
way a child's brain and mind develop in the contest of that
relationship. Some of the major topics addressed include:
BLFeelings of guilt in the child - Is it my fault? BLKeeping the
secret BLRole reversal - when child acts as parent BLFear of the
same fate BLBuilding resilience and accepting help BLInsights from
daughters of mothers who were schizophrenic, psychotic, severely
depressed, paranoid, and personality-disordered.
General
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