Childhood sexual abuse (or child sexual abuse/CSA) is not only an assault on the body-it is an assault on the mind and on the spirit. It is an insult to the victim's integrity, her self-esteem, his very being. Besides imposing a significantly higher risk of conditions like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sexual exploitation, intimate partner violence, suicidality, substance abuse, and learning & educational difficulties, the most devastating consequence of childhood sexual abuse is shame. Freedom at Last will help victims of this form of abuse recover from all aspects of this extreme shame and its damaging after-effects. Not only does shame from CSA cause a multitude of problems, but this very same shame stands in the way of a victim's ability to recover and heal. Victims often struggle with shame's correlation with dissociation, difficulty forming relationships, emotional barriers to disclosing abuse and seeking help, and a lasting negative effect on victim's sense of self. In this groundbreaking book, leading psychologist Dr. Beverly Engel reveals the truth about how CSA affects victims, dispels common myths surrounding this type of abuse, explains the nuances behind the emotion of shame, and teaches readers how to develop more self-awareness about how shame has manifested in their lives along with powerful and effective shame-reduction strategies. Freedom at Last offers effective strategies for not only healing the negative effects of abuse-related shame, but also to help overcome the shame that keeps survivors from seeking help. Using the most recent research along with her 35-year career working with victims of child sexual abuse, Dr. Engel provides a blueprint for readers and their loved ones to overcome the debilitating effects of shame, including strategies for emotional release, encouragement to free themselves from their secrets, teaching self-forgiveness, eliminating shame-causing behaviors, and removing shame from unhealthy behaviors and attitudes.

How women can overcome the pressure to please others and feel free to be their true selves

Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? If this sounds familiar, read "The Nice Girl Syndrome." In this breakthrough guide, renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships, can show you how to take control of your life and take care of yourself.

Engel explains that women today simply cannot afford to be Nice Girls, because women who are too nice send the message that they are easy targets and are much more likely to be victimized emotionally, physically, and sexually. She identifies the seven different types of Nice Girls and helps you understand which type or types might apply to you. Engel helps you determine whether the Nice Girl Syndrome is keeping you in an abusive relationship or in manipulative situations and helps you change Nice Girl beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back.Shows you how to confront the beliefs and behaviors that keep you stuck in a Nice Girl act as you replace them with healthier, more empowering onesIncludes inspiring stories of women Engel has worked with who have found the courage and strength to stop taking abuse and start standing up for themselves"This book will challenge, entertain, and empower its readers."--"Publishers Weekly" (starred review)Written by renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships

Filled with wise advice, powerful exercises, and practical prescriptions, "The Nice Girl Syndrome" shows you step by step how to take control of your life and be your own strong woman.

A step-by-step guide to help both victims of emotional abuse and their abusers escape unhealthy patterns originating from childhood abuse and neglect In the second edition of The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing, internationally recognized therapist Beverly Engel walks readers through a proven program designed to help readers get to the core of their unhealthy behavior patterns. This book was written specifically for two types of couples—those who mutually abuse each other and those with abusive partners who are willing to honestly look at themselves to and make the necessary changes to stop abusing. Unique among books of this type, Engel focuses on both the abused person and the abuser, offering non-judgmental advice to both groups. She offers effective strategies, techniques, and information to end abusive behaviors, including: Why some people are attracted to abusive people and vice versa Patterns created from childhood neglect and abuse and how to break them Determining if you or your partner suffers from a personality disorder such as Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder How to decide whether to continue the relationship or end it The importance of healing shame caused by childhood neglect and abuse How self-compassion can help heal both victims of emotional abuse and the abusers themselves The Emotionally Abusive Relationship is essential for those involved in unhealthy relationships or who have loved ones trapped in an emotionally abusive situation. Therapist recommended, this book is also a must-read resource for students of psychotherapy.

Honor Your Anger is a clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
--Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast Editor, Psychology Today, Director Emeritus, Cambridge Center for Behavioral Studies, University Research Professor, California School of Professional Psychology

"A critical first step for people who have trouble getting in touch with their anger and expressing it in direct and appropriate ways."
--Virginia Williams, Ph.D., coauthor of Anger Kills and Lifeskills

Do you act out your anger in destructive or underhanded ways? Or do you suppress your anger and turn other people's abuse and criticism against yourself? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. But if it's channeled in negative directions, anger can do real damage to you and your loved ones.

In this provocative, healing book, psychotherapist Beverly Engel explains why your personal anger style may be hurting your relationships, your career, and yourself. She then shows you step by step how to transform a negative anger style into a positive one. Once you've discovered how to express your anger in healthy ways, you'll find that anger can empower you, motivate you to make important changes, and help you gain a sense of control over your life.

How women can overcome the pressure to please others and feel free to be their true selves

Are you too nice for your own good? Do family members manipulate you? Do coworkers take advantage of you? If this sounds familiar, read "The Nice Girl Syndrome." In this breakthrough guide, renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships, can show you how to take control of your life and take care of yourself.

Engel explains that women today simply cannot afford to be Nice Girls, because women who are too nice send the message that they are easy targets and are much more likely to be victimized emotionally, physically, and sexually. She identifies the seven different types of Nice Girls and helps you understand which type or types might apply to you. Engel helps you determine whether the Nice Girl Syndrome is keeping you in an abusive relationship or in manipulative situations and helps you change Nice Girl beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back.Shows you how to confront the beliefs and behaviors that keep you stuck in a Nice Girl act as you replace them with healthier, more empowering onesIncludes inspiring stories of women Engel has worked with who have found the courage and strength to stop taking abuse and start standing up for themselves"This book will challenge, entertain, and empower its readers."--"Publishers Weekly" (starred review)Written by renowned author and therapist Beverly Engel, who has helped thousands of women recognize and leave emotionally abusive relationships

Filled with wise advice, powerful exercises, and practical prescriptions, "The Nice Girl Syndrome" shows you step by step how to take control of your life and be your own strong woman.

"Engel doesn’t just describe–she shows us the way out."
–Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for the emotionally abusive relationship

"In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individuals and for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotional abuse."
–Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse
and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse

"This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotional abuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showing each party what emotional abuse is, how it affects the relationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamic relationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp the tools for change and really use them."
–Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook
and owner of BPDCentral.com

The number of people who become involved with partners who abuse them emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves is phenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form of abuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world’s leading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to do about it.

Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that you might be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both you and your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book is for you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how to identify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of your behavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps to heal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow you and your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst in each other and stop the abuse.

By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to help themselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stop abusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expert guidance and support you need.

Expert guidance in stopping and recovering from abuse

"We all have the power to break the cycle of abuse. In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will help survivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood to heal from their wounds so they don't need to re-enact their abusive pasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships."
--Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail

"A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down to earth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature on healing."
--Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse and Why Does He Do That?

PRAISE FOR BEVERLY ENGEL'S OTHER BOOKS

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship

"Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offers step-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse . . . helping both victims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful and traumatic type of abuse."
--Marti Tamm Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of Journal of Emotional Abuse

Loving Him without Losing You

"A powerful and practical guide to relationships that every woman should read."
--Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., author of Are You the One for Me?

HonorYour Anger

"A clearly written, insightful look at a topic that concerns everyone. You can indeed learn to understand and manage your anger, and this book will show you how."
--Robert Epstein, Ph.D., West Coast editor, Psychology Today, and university research professor, California School of Professional Psychology

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it's important for you to know that "it wasn't your fault." In this gentle guide," "therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you'll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author's powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You'll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you'll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion--pride.

"A beacon of hope for women and men who fear that they will pass the abuse they have suffered on to their children, partners, or employees. Humane and compassionate but also clear and down to earth, this is a wonderful contribution to the literature on healing."
--Lundy Bancroft, author of When Dad Hurts Mom and Why Does He Do That?

"In this remarkably powerful, wise, and compassionate book, Beverly Engel leads readers step by step through a program that will help survivors of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in childhood to heal from their wounds so they don't need to re-enact their abusive pasts. She offers expert advice and strategies to help parents and would-be parents avoid doing to their children what was done to them and helps both abusers and victims in emotionally and physically abusive relationships make vitally important changes in their relationships."
--Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents and Emotional Blackmail

If you were emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a child or adolescent, or if you experienced neglect or abandonment, it isn't a question of whether you will continue the cycle of abuse but rather a question of how--whether you will become an abuser or continue to be a victim. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, a leading expert on emotional and sexual abuse, explains how to stop the cycle of abuse once and for all. Her step-by-step program provides the necessary skills for gaining control over emotions, changing negative attitudes, learning healthy ways of communicating, healing the damage from prior abuse, and seeking out support.

Throughout, Engel shares many dramatic personal stories including her own experienceswith abusive behavior. Breaking the Cycle of Abuse gives you the power to shatter abusive patterns for good and offers a legacy of hope and healing for you and your family.

Are you a Disappearing Woman?

"Beverly Engel has identified a widespread problem and provided women with wise guidelines for bursting through it. She writes with compassion and insight. If you think you are a Disappearing Woman, you will drink in this book as if it were a health-giving elixir. It is!"–Susan Page, author of How One of You Can Bring the Two of You Together and If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single?

"This remarkably helpful book offers new insights into why so many women surrender their individuality in relationships. Don’t wait until your hair is on fire to read it."–Maxine Schnall, founder and Executive Director of Wives Self Help

"A book of depth and power. I highly recommend it not only to women who lose themselves in their relationships with men but to the parents of adolescent girls who need to be taught how to view themselves as valuable beings separate from their relationships with men and boys."–Michael Gurian, author of The Good Son and A Fine Young Man

Do you frequently find yourself putting your lover’s needs ahead of your own? Do you tend to lose yourself in your romantic relationships? Have you ever neglected your career, your friends, or even your health while in the midst of a love affair?

Now, in this landmark book, Beverly Engel examines the intricate reasons why so many women submerge themselves in their relationships with men–and offers a straightforward, empowering program that you can use to free yourself from the powerful grip of this all-too-common problem and rediscover yourself as a Woman of Substance.

Does your partner blame you for his or her own problems?
Does your partner humiliate you, especially in front of others?
Is your partner impossible to please?
Are you convinced something is wrong with you?
Are you too ashamed to admit you are being abused?

In Escaping Emotional Abuse, Beverly Engel, world-renowned therapist and expert in emotional abuse, exposes techniques an abuser uses to break your spirit and gain control - and guides you in how to free yourself from the shame that can keep you from the life, and the love, that you deserve.

By using your deepest fears against you, the abuser strips you of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity - making you feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But you possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows you how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps you jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help you heal and regain self-confidence.

An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships.

A guide to healthy sexual development for children, covering topics that include promoting positive body images, protecting children without scaring them, and teaching values without encouraging rebellion. Nationally renowned psychotherapist Beverly Engel goes beyond sex education in a comprehensive guide that will help parents raise their children to become vibrant, confident, and sexually healthy adults. For each stage of your child's development-from age three through the high school years-she demonstrates the best ways to handle even the most difficult and unexpected situations with step-by-step instructions and sample conversations. From straightforward advice on dealing with nudity, homosexuality, masturbation, and sex roles, to helping prevent and detect sexual abuse, this book assists you in communicating the well-balanced attitudes toward sexual behavior that will carry your children into a healthy and responsible adulthood.

If you feel unfairly criticized, controlled by others, or are afraid of being lonely, you could be suffering from emotional abuse. Now there is help in this compassionate sourcebook. Bevery Engel, a marriage, family, and child therapist, guides you through a step-by-step recovery process to help you heal the damage done in the past.

No one could have imagined how as a child Beverly Engel could have managed to become who she is today—an internationally known expert on abuse recovery and the best-selling author of twenty-two self-help books. This is the raw, candid story of how she made her way in the world in spite of her mother’s neglect, unreasonable expectations and constant criticism; in spite of being sexually abused, first at four years old and then at nine; and in spite of being raped at twelve. Raising Myself takes readers on a remarkable journey, showing us how Engel, who was basically on her own from the age of four, learned how to cope with a neglectful, narcissistic mother while being surrounded by a cast of characters that included eccentrics and misfits, a religious fanatic, child molesters, rapists, and hoodlums. It is a soul-searching memoir about how she came dangerously close to the edge of becoming a child molester, a criminal, and a suicide, and how she battled her inner demons and struggled to keep her heart open and to “reinvent� herself so she could follow her dream of making something of herself. Powerfully inspiring and unflinchingly honest, Raising Myself is a story of remarkable resilience and insight.