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Shyness & Love covers the only major study conducted to date on social anxiety disorder as it is manifested in informal, unstructured, male/female dating and courtship situations. It focuses on the causes-both biomedical as well as situational-of "love-shyness" and the consequences for those afflicted with it. Gilmartin also discusses promising treatment modalities and what schools and communities can do to prevent severe love-shyness from developing in the first place. Shyness & Love examines the early family life as well as the peer group interactions of love-shy men. The book provides many statistical comparisons between the sampled love-shys and a comparison group of non-love-shy males of normal (but not superior) social self-confidence levels. These statistical comparisons allow for some informed speculations regarding the numerous interacting causes that underlie social phobia in informal, unstructured, heterosexual social situations. These statistical comparisons also provide the reader with some powerful suggestions regarding ways the American social structure (e.g., schools, family life, and communities) might be rearranged so that severe and intractable forms of love-shyness would never have an opportunity to develop in growing boys and teenagers in the first place. Since the publication of the first edition of this book, it has been determined that as many as forty percent of men afflicted with love-shyness are simultaneously comorbid for Asperger's Syndrome, also known as high-functioning autism. As many as half of all love-shy males are comorbid for the "male lesbian syndrome," sometimes also referred to as the "passive, non-competitive male syndrome." This second edition contains a new foreword that presents the latest findings in love-shyness research. It is more concise than the original Shyness & Love, yet retains the most significant chapters.
Shyness & Love covers the only major study conducted to date on social anxiety disorder as it is manifested in informal, unstructured, male/female dating and courtship situations. It focuses on the causes-both biomedical as well as situational-of "love-shyness" and the consequences for those afflicted with it. Gilmartin also discusses promising treatment modalities and what schools and communities can do to prevent severe love-shyness from developing in the first place. Shyness & Love examines the early family life as well as the peer group interactions of love-shy men. The book provides many statistical comparisons between the sampled love-shys and a comparison group of non-love-shy males of normal (but not superior) social self-confidence levels. These statistical comparisons allow for some informed speculations regarding the numerous interacting causes that underlie social phobia in informal, unstructured, heterosexual social situations. These statistical comparisons also provide the reader with some powerful suggestions regarding ways the American social structure (e.g., schools, family life, and communities) might be rearranged so that severe and intractable forms of love-shyness would never have an opportunity to develop in growing boys and teenagers in the first place. Since the publication of the first edition of this book, it has been determined that as many as forty percent of men afflicted with love-shyness are simultaneously comorbid for Asperger's Syndrome, also known as high-functioning autism. As many as half of all love-shy males are comorbid for the "male lesbian syndrome," sometimes also referred to as the "passive, non-competitive male syndrome." This second edition contains a new foreword that presents the latest findings in love-shyness research. It is more concise than the original Shyness & Love, yet retains the most significant chapters.
Love-shyness is a degree of social inhibition and timidity regarding the opposite sex that it is so severe it prevents participation in courtship, marriage, and family roles. It is estimated that 1.7 million American males suffer from love-shyness. These virginal, heterosexual men desire an intimate, committed relationship with a woman, but their acute timidity in informal social situations prevents them from asserting themselves. The Shy Man Syndrome is the first book aimed at a general audience to address this problem and offer ways to overcome it. Dr. Brian Gilmartin uses landmark text, Shyness and Love, as a basis for this work. For it, more than 300 chronically-shy, virginal men, between the ages of 19 and 50, were interviewed and tested. A second group, consisting of 200 non-shy men, was also studied. The Shy Man Syndrome contains the findings of this research, as well as therapeutic and preventative approaches for dealing with this debilitating affliction. We learn about the past family life of the love-shy mean; their school life during formative years; sexual development; medical symptoms; and psychological traits. We then witness treatments such as practice-dating therapy; psychodrama; role playing; visualization; and self-image therapy. The results of the study are presented in an absorbing manner that makes for fascinating, illuminating, and instructive reading.
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