In 1965, Carol Schaefer was 19, a freshman in college and deeply in love. She was also pregnant. When her boyfriend's family opposed their marrying, her parents sequestered her in a Catholic home for unwed mothers a state away, where she was isolated and where secrecy prevailed. She had only to give up her baby for her sin to be forgiven and then all would soon be forgotten she was told. The child, in turn, would be placed with a "good" family, instead of having his life ruined by the stigma of illegitimacy. Carol tried to find the strength to oppose this dogma but her shame had become too deep. "The first time I looked deep into my son's eyes, I felt like a criminal. As I unwrapped his hospital blanket and took in the heady fragrance of a newborn, I feared the nurses or the sisters would come in and slap me for contaminating my own son." Finding no way out, she signed the fateful papers leaving her son in the hands of strangers, but with a vow to her baby she would find him one day. For years, Carol struggled to forget and live the "normal" life promised, not understanding the consequences of the trauma she'd endured. On his eighteenth birthday, she set out to find him, although the law denied access to records. Her search became a spiritual quest to reclaim her own lost self, as she came to understand the emotional and psychological wounds she and other mothers like her had endured. Against all odds she succeeded in finding him and discovered that in many ways they had never really been apart. With her son's encouragement and his adoptive mother's cooperation, she tells their story. REVIEWS: "Strength, sadness, joy, and the power of undeniable love abound in this book." 500 Great Books by Women (A Penguin Books Reader's Guide, 1994) The list of authors goes back to the 11th century. Nominated "One of the best books of 1991." American Library Association. ..". flows as forcefully as the finest fiction. ... This 'ten-hankie-read' never descends into sentimentality but simply reveals the unvarnished truths of the human heart." Wilson Library Bulletin "This wrenching account, covering a range of adoption issues, is a moving testament to the bonding power of motherhood." Publishers Weekly "An astonishing revelation of the emotions that come into play throughout the adoptive process - a must read for all concerned." Kirkus Reviews Literary Guild Alternate Selection. "Inspiring ... a heart tugger." Patricia Holt, San Francisco Chronicle "A chronicle of a time with the starkest of emotions revealed ... Readers quickly understand the trauma that lingers on deep in the hearts of birthmothers every day of their lives." Elliot Bay Booknotes "It should be a must read for anyone who considers adoption the 'easy' answer to an unwanted pregnancy." The Philadelphia Inquirer "As she experiences pain and love, you're on that roller coaster with her, as if the life she lived was yours." St. Petersburg Times "Poignant and powerful, The Other Mother shatters the myth that unwed mothers, unprepared for the sacrifice they make, go on to lead normal and untouched lives." Booklist "Any woman who has gone through any part of her experience, or has been close to somebody who has, will attest to the story's authenticity." The Washington Post "I recommend it with all my heart. Its courage, integrity and love make it a treasure. ... not only for adoptive families and birth families, it is for everyone who longs to know how deep the levels are that connect us, and how precious." Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul ..". addresses intimately the experience of a Birthmother as no other book has - or probably ever will. Expertly written." Jone Carlson, Editor People Searching News "Courageous, moving and heartening." Betty Jean Lifton, Journey of the Adopted Self "A wonderful book. From my professional perspective the book is right on target." Reubon Pannor, coauthor, The Adoption Triangle

How do we find ourselves again after the soul-shattering experience of surrendering a child to adoption? What does our journey toward healing mean for our families and loved ones, for society and most of all for our children and their adoptive family? Searching ..., Carol Schaefer's sequel to her acclaimed memoir, The Other Mother: A Woman's Love for the Child She Gave Up for Adoption, not only takes the reader through the complex challenges of integrating her son and his adoptive family with her own over the twenty-seven years since their reunion, she also draws on extensive research as well as the stories of others to offer guidance and hope for creating enriching relationships after reunion. Woven within the narrative is Schaefer's remarkable creative journey from overcoming her fears of publicly telling her story, through the book's writing and publication, to the experience of the NBC movie version airing before an audience of 25 million viewers - thirty years after she was hidden away in a home for unwed mothers to conceal her "disgraceful" secret. "Carol Schaefer is a gifted and eloquent writer. Searching ... is one person's story, but it gives us a lens with which to see the complexity and challenges that adoption brings to everyone that it touches. This book should be required for all who live and work in the world of adoption." Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Lecturer in Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School and Founder and Director of Riverside After Adoption Consulting and Training "Carol Schaefer's new book is wonderfully written and genuinely important. It is certainly about adoption, but it is much more than that; it transcends one person's journey to provide insights into the human experience." Adam Pertman, Author of Adoption Nation and President of the Donaldson Adoption Institute "Searching ... is an exciting new book, and the title is appropriate on many levels. The author gives wonderful insight into the expectations and misunderstandings that derail reunions. Not only do we need to keep searching for ways to make reunions gratifying for everyone concerned, but we would also do well to follow Carol's example of finding meaning in what we do. I highly recommend this book to everyone in the adoption community and beyond." Nancy Verrier, MFT, Author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home to Self