In "Beginning Anew," Sister Chan Khong shares a concrete, four-part process that can help anyone heal relationships. Thousands have been introduced to this practice at the retreats led worldwide by Thich Nhat Hanh.
When we're upset with someone, we're often afraid to say anything. We tell ourselves, "It's just a small matter; it's not important." But the accumulation of many small issues can cause relationships to break. "Beginning Anew" gives us a way to address problems when they're small.
Sister Chan Khong brings the practice to life by sharing stories of couples and families she has helped to reconcile.
After a few minutes of quietly sitting together, each person speaks without being interrupted. The first step is to express appreciation of the other person, something we may forget to do and that can lead to people feeling taken for granted. The second step is to express any regrets we have. This is something we often put off, but it gives the chance to directly address any problems in the relationship. The last two steps are for expressing anger and checking in with each other. When practiced regularly, these steps bring deeper understanding and harmony to any relationship.