Based on open-ended interviews with adult children and children-in-law, this book documents how plain folk from the working and middle classes manage to provide care for their frail, elderly parents while simultaneously meeting the obligations of their jobs and their own immediate families.

Adult children who care for elderly parents are pressured daily trying to juggle the responsibilities of work, family, and caregiving. Deborah Merrill shows how plain folk (as one caregiver termed herself) from the working and lower middle classes manage to provide care for their frail, elderly parents while simultaneously meeting the obligations of their jobs and their own immediate families. The evidence is drawn from open-ended, in-depth interviews with adult children and children-in-law, all of whom have worked outside of the home at some point during caregiving.

Merrill examines the strategies that caregivers use to combine work and caregiving and the accommodations they make in their jobs. She also points to the pathways that lead family members to caregiving roles and how those pathways vary according to family history, gender, and in-law status. By focusing on class differences in caregiving and pointing to policy implications, Merrill has provided an invaluable resource for students, researchers, and policymakers in social work, gerontology, family studies, and social issues.

We all know-and have perhaps told--stories about mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. It seems the stories are nearly always about relationships filled with conflict and abrasive words or actions. But why is this relationship so difficult? Is it always as bad as popular belief would have us think? Deborah Merrill, a woman's advocate and Sociology professor at one of our nation's top universities, has been studying the relationship for nearly a decade. In this book, she explains where the difficulty is rooted, how friendly pairs have made it past problems that surface between a man's mother and his wife, and how they became friends. Dozens of interviews with pairs of women made in-laws by marriage illustrate Merrill's points, from harmful ideas and actions to helpful approaches. At its core, this book holds that marriage requires the creation of a new and separate family, which requires changes in roles, as well as a redefinition of relationships. Hence, family boundaries need to be made permeable to allow for integration of the daughter-in-law, and to allow the son to create his own separate and autonomous family. Family members need to be aware of, and prepare for, this, says Merrill. That, of course, may be easier said than done. But dozens of women who have become friends with their in-laws --some so much so that they drop the "in-law" and just call each other "mother" and "daughter"--explain how they got past the old, popular notions and social structure, to create goodwill and grow stronger families. Understanding the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship and how to make it positive is essential, especially given the extent of existing conflict in these relationships, andthe effects of such conflict on marriage and family. Though research on this relationship is relatively rare, the studies that do exist show about half of all mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law experience some conflict, that it is often intense and accompanied by ambiguity and ambivalence. This book can help.

Interviews with and case studies of women in the U.S., accompanied by research in this text, show how our perceptions, thoughts, and spiritual practices can help women through menopause without drugs and their potential side effects. More and more women today are seeking natural ways to cope with menopause, including through mindfulness techniques and Eastern practices such as meditation. Women of various races, ages, and socioeconomic status interviewed at length for this study explain their experiences, victories, and setbacks in their quests to overcome this natural but body- and brain-altering change. Complementing findings from her research with wider outside research, author Deborah Merrill explains how popular culture depictions, race, class, and education all alter women's perceptions of the meaning of menopause, and how those perceptions can complicate, exacerbate, or alleviate physical and psychological symptoms. She details the "medical view" that views menopause as a problem to be solved, rather than as a natural event. And, through women's words and case studies, she details psychospiritual approaches many are adopting to cope, instead of seeking potentially harmful medicines. Readers will find new insights, wisdom, and potential solutions in the array of voices, experiences, and paths taken and presented in this book. Includes interviews with women of various races, socioeconomic statuses, and ages Addresses the social meaning of menopause and portrayals in popular culture Discusses how some women are turning to lifestyle and diet changes, as well as Eastern practices such as yoga, meditation, and mindfulness to cope with menopause Includes appendices of meditations, dialogues, and resources