Besides having one of the funniest titles ever written, "Killing Me Softly With Jazz Hands" is a hilarious trip through the comedic mind of Becky Pedigo. Part blog, part essay, part rambling thought, this collection of stories is a delightful diversion from the ordinary. Becky's comedy is unique, quirky and right on point. She deftly aims life's skewer at herself and examines how a small town girl with big hopes and dreams can end up behind chicken wire, telling jokes for gas money, while contemplating the irony of existence. These are stories about a life lived on the road, written by a comic just killing time, in lieu of killing herself.

Tales of the Crystal Sailor Log 1 This story is a combination of factual places and sailing experiences. Located in the Santa Barbara Island group off the California coast. During a passage from San Diego to Ventura, California I was struck with an epiphany concerning collecting and doing research on the rare Lemurian Seed Crystals from Brazil. Later I am to learn we are to build a lemurian Grid on a Vortex I must locate on Santa Cruz, Island. The adventure builds as we must locate an Earthkeeper Crystal that is necessary to open Portal to the next dimension. This will be fought over by Alien's and Men in Black. We are assisted in our quest by Atlantean Warriors and the might of the Marine Mammals that are taking a place along side "Terrians" for the opportunity to pass through this Portal before the 2012 Earth Shift. Later I am told to locate a Vortex so a subsequent "Portal" can be opened to the next dimension. This will allow passage of people that have the name of the sacred Earth Keeper Crystal. This can only be accomplished by changing raising one's vibrational rate through meditation or accepting Compassion as a new way of life. Pursued by Men in Black and later Alien who has been mining Santa Cruz Island for thousands of years with genetically enhanced survivors of Atlantis. We have to deal with injured Blue Whales from ships propellers, help from new brotherhood of Marine Mammals. All the while gathering people from across the world to assist in creating the necessary Crystal Grid that will allow the opening of the Portal once the Earth Keeper Grid is found. New alliances formed with a group called "Mothers of Mammals" that try to shield us from M.I.B's while in our home port. Coming in direct contact with captain of Submarine that has almost caused us to lose our boat twice. Working with survivors of Atlantis that shape shift to Telepathic Dolphins who align with us in our Quest. Learning we have a much larger family on Earth than we ever knew. Fighting for our survival from hostile Alien that want control of Portal for their own "storage" miners before the Dec. 21, 2012 Earth Shift. Geographic locations are real, sailing terminology is explain as is the folklore of the sacred Lemurian Seed Crystals. Crystals are real, boat is real, people are real, only segments are fantasy to make story entertaining.

"Yer hewmn " Damon Ryan, wakes in the wreckage of his ship, to the sight of Nicodemus, harper, unwilling mystic, outcast, staring down at him in disbelief. The amazement is mutual. Deep in uncharted space, his ship out of power, Damon hadn't expected to survive, much less find another member of his own species. So begins the partnership that threatens the very premise on which the Land was founded. Two very different people from unimaginably different cultures, one technological and wholly egalitarian, the other medieval, hierarchical, reflexively distrustful of change. But, in the irrevocably stranded spacer, Nicodemus recognizes a man more exiled than himself. All they can salvage from the wreckage is a little gold Damon carried for currency and his infocom, a wrist computer he dismisses as a toy. Although the spacer thinks of his accident as no more than the downside of random chance, Nicodemus believes he discerns the hand of the god. Damon will masquerade as his servant, while they seek how to fit him in to a society that frowns upon a masterless man. Yet as they travel the Land and the power of the infocom becomes apparent, Nicodemus begins to wonder: is it the man the god sent, or his machine?