Fat people, Footballers, Flip-flops, Formula One, Wheelie luggage Cycle helmets, Processed ham, Skiing, Dogs,,, Are you all wound up? Boiling and ready to blow? Breathe deeply. Relax. Master of spleen Giles Coren, author of what The Guardian called 'The Maddest Email Ever', has an unbeatable technique for working through the anger: He does it for you.

How to Eat Out, Giles Coren's hilarious and practical wisdom on eating out - from McDonalds to Michelin star - is now available in paperback. It has taken Giles Coren a lifetime to master the art of eating out. From a lonely childhood spent in pub car parks, peering in at a magical world of chickens in baskets and butter in little foil squares, to belching his way through taste clouds of prawn gas and chocolate air at 'the best restaurant in the world', to mock dog in Shoreditch, sperm sushi in Tokyo and delicious fricasseed field mouse in 'Ancient' Rome, Coren has experienced pretty much everything a restaurant can throw at you, and thrown it right back. Or at least caught it, sniffed it, and bagged it up for later. Bad waiters, bum tables, little rip-offs, big cons, old fish, cheap meat, yesterday's soup and tomorrow's gastroenteritis... Coren tells you how to avoid the lot, and even come out of it with free champagne and a dish named after you by way of apology. It doesn't matter if it's fish and chips, takeaway pizza, a medieval banquet with Sue Perkins or a slap-up nosh at the Hotel de Posh, there is always a right way and wrong way to do it. How To Eat Out is a bit of both.