Married and family life around the world has undergone a revolution in the last several decades: the radical democratization of intimacy in spousal and parent-child relationships. Previous principles of hierarchy, inequality, and duty that defined the relationships between husband, wife, and children have been challenged and often replaced by more fluid bonds of equality, intimacy, emotional self-disclosure, communication, and mutual trust. The key question that has emerged for our times, then, is how exactly do families sustain genuine mutuality, democracy, and strong relationships? Figuring out good answers to this question is the major theme of this book and the origin of the title Mutuality Matters. Three common strategies for creating just marriages have arisen: political and legal reform, smarter negotiating by women, and new cultural perceptions of marriage. While the authors in this book attend to all three strategies to different degrees, the primary focus is the third strategy: changing our cultural understanding of women and men in marriage. Moreover, to effect genuine cultural change, the authors recognize the need to enlist the help of religion as a key culture-forming element. Mutuality has become a common way for theologians from a variety of perspectives to talk about a more just love, a love that combines affection and justice. But many questions have been left unanswered: What exactly do people believe they have promised when they align themselves with Christian claims about love in their rituals of marriage and partnership? Do Christian views of love include the ideal of justice in marriage? Because accommodation or sacrifice is inevitable in any intimate human community, how can families insure that it will be mutual and just? How is marriage strengthened if justice is added to love at the core of mutuality? What does mutuality mean across time and distance, when participants are parents and children, when fathers are absent, when parents should be honored, or within a violent context? Is it possible to have democratic families without mutual sacrifice? Can submission be mutual? On these and other questions, the authors of this volume claim distinctive responsibility for rethinking Christian convictions about love and family life around the theme of mutuality and for strengthening the ministry of religious communities as those communities seek to empower and support families in their practice of mutuality. The essays written for this volume reflect the development of practical theology as one method for exploring the religious meanings of family and enhancing the practice of family living by 1) assuming that all theory has implications for practice and all practices are theory laden and 2) drawing into dialogue the knowledge and interpretations of a variety of perspectives including philosophy, biblical criticism, anthropology, liturgical studies, pastoral care, ethics, cross-cultural studies, and religious education. This collection of essays is noteworthy for both this interdisciplinary scope and its richly ecumenical representation.

Description: ""Dad. I've got very, very, very bad news. Peter was killed tonight . . ."" With that middle-of-the-night phone call, life for the Mayer family plunged from ""best-ever year"" to months and years of dealing with the oppressive presence of Peter's unending absence. A letter from his father to the freshly deceased Peter, intended for the memorial service, became the first in a torrent of letters from his dad to Peter, though which his dad poured out agonized and angry grief. In the letters, Peter's dad laments the way events otherwise beautiful for Peter's wife, five-year-old daughter, and the rest of the family are relentlessly punctuated with the pain of the loss. ""Dammit, Peter, why didn't you . . .?"" Ultimately, slowly, the letters begin to reflect on the strange mystery of healing. How is it that in spite of the pain, in spite of the unending loss, comfort does come, opening the way once again for unbelievably deep joy? ""It was all so rich and beautiful that with a certain private touch, and exchange of glance, your mom and I signaled an agreement . . . slipped to our cave . . . with playful freedom and deep gratitude."" So for Peter's dad, the confirmation of the odd observation from Jesus: ""How blessed are those who grieve "" Endorsements: ""So how does a minister address the sudden, potentially faith-shattering loss of his adult son, Peter? I wondered . . . In each letter, I heard the soulful humanness of grief calling out. Letters to Peter affirmed and expanded my understanding of the mysterious and expansive nature of faith and of God. The religious and theological underpinnings became universal and philosophical in probing for meaning. What an extraordinary relationship evolves through these letters . . . Father and son become one."" --Molly Greist stone sculptor, bereaved parent ""These poignant letters testify to the great affection between a father and son. Mayer's plaintive cry of ""how could you?"" points up the apparent senselessness of the sudden death of a young person. His lamentation echoes some of the great biblical sorrows down through the centuries. The letters will be of particular help to all those suffering grief and loss, no matter what the circumstances."" --Patrick Howell SJ Rector, Jesuit Community, Seattle University Former dean of the School of Theology and Ministry About the Contributor(s): Donald E. Mayer is a retired minister of the United Church of Christ, advisory board chair, and adjunct faculty for the School of Theology and Ministry, Seattle University.

This encyclopedic volume brings clarity and focus to a multitude of family issues. The expert contributors deal with practical and important questions, thereby providing information of significant usefulness to social workers, therapists, lawyers, ministers, and health-care professionals. Those who work with families will learn new techniques and see their efforts in a larger context. An extensive directory of family resources provides the reader with helpful and practical information.

The Family, Culture, and Religion series offers informed and responsible analyses of the state of the American family from a religious perspective and provides practical assistance for the family's revitalization.

Drawing on touching stories and personal experiences, Herbert Anderson and Freda Gardner illuminate many of the aspects of living alone--loneliness, grief, and solitude--and offer encouraging suggestions for living well and faithfully. The Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series examines crucial times in family life in light of the family as a social unit. Each book addresses major changes that ordinarily occur in the life cycle of a family. Each volume takes into account family system theory and social and economic factors that affect the family.

Marriage is a pilgrimage; a journey characterized by beginnings and endings as the life cycle of a particular family evolves. This timely and important book addresses how relationships need o be refocused when couples face changes such as the launching of young adult children, job change, the death of a parent or a child, the arrival of a "surprise" child, infidelity, retirement, illness, role change or reversal, and many others. Also addressed is the dissolution of marriage and the establishment of a new relationship through remarriage.

The Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series examines crucial times in family life in light of the family as a social unit. Each book addresses major changes that ordinarily occur in the life cycle of a family. Each volume takes into account family system theory and social and economic factors that affect the family.

In this important and timely book, Herbert Anderson and Susan Johnson examine issues pertinent to the successful rearing of children. Written to empower parents and others who care for and nurture our children, this book will also greatly enhance the ministry of the church on behalf of and for the sake of families with children and for our society at large. The Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series examines crucial times in family life in light of the family as a social unit. Each book addresses major changes that ordinarily occur in the life cycle of a family. Each volume takes into account family system theory and social and economic factors that affect the family.

In this book, Herbert Anderson and Kenneth R. Mitchell demonstrate that leaving home is a significant part of forming an individual identity and a natural aspect of maturing. It is also a lifelong process, but one that is desirable and appropriate for both the one who leaves and the ones left behind. However, understanding the process requires care. This book helps clarify what is at stake in the ordinary yet complex process of leaving home. The Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series examines crucial times in family life in light of the family as a social unit. Each book addresses major changes that ordinarily occur in the life cycle of a family. Each volume takes into account family system theory and social and economic factors that affect the family.

This informative book examines the issues surrounding the process of forming the marriage bond such as courtship, the early years of marriage, and specifically, the events that must happen for successful bonding to take place. This book is designed for couples planning to marry, for parents who are struggling to stay close to their children while staying out of the wedding plans, and for clergy who work with couples preparing for marriage. The Family Living in Pastoral Perspective series examines crucial times in family life in light of the family as a social unit. Each book addresses major changes that ordinarily occur in the life cycle of a family. Each volume takes into account family system theory and social and economic factors that affect the family.

Grief as a lifelong human experience is the scope of this absorbing book. Kenneth R. Mitchell and Herbert Anderson explore the multiple dimensions of the problem, including orgins of grief, loss throughout life, dynamics of grief, care for those who grieve, and the theology of grieving. This examination of the process of grief is enriched by vivid illustrations and case histories of individuals whose experiences the authors have shared.

Exploring the role of spirituality in couple and family relationships, this successful text and practitioner guide illustrates ways to tap spiritual resources for coping, healing, and resilience. Leading experts in family therapy and pastoral care discuss how faith beliefs and practices can foster personal and relational well-being, how religious conflicts or a spiritual void can contribute to distress, and what therapists can gain from reflecting on their own spiritual journeys. The volume is rich with insights for working with multi-faith and culturally diverse clients.New to This Edition: *Coverage of death and loss, healing from refugee trauma, meditation practices for couples, use of rituals, and forgiveness.*Chapter on resilience now includes Hindu and Muslim perspectives in addition to Jewish, Christian, and Buddhist views.