Another year on the Diddly Squat Farm and Jeremy is still knee-deep in mud and endless challenges . . .

Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden rule: Whatever you hope will happen, won't.

Enthusiastic and inventive schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie's still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming. But he charges by the hour.

Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths.

But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner.

And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending ....

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

So, that went well …

The spring barley crop failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the durum wheat. Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy. Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger …’

*Jeremy

Uncooperative animals, underperforming crops, and rather less than best-laid plans pursued with unbridled enthusiasm. Clarkson’s farm is the gift that keeps on giving.

But, as one overseas visitor* admitted, he only came to Diddly Squat because he just didn’t believe that Jeremy could be so incompetent.

Not one to be discouraged, however, our hero decides to bring his misunderstood entrepreneurial flair to bear on a new venture: a pub. And just a few short weeks later, the doors open on The Farmer’s Dog.

All British produce, Hawkstone beer on tap, a private bar for farmers and a vintage tractor hanging from the ceiling. The perfect country pub. A welcome distraction from sustainable farming initiatives, psychedelic wheat, angry protests in central London and a headbutting goat.

What, you may be asking, could possibly go wrong?

On top of the lavatories packing up and the electricity running out, you mean? As the Cotwolds’ newest publican quickly discovers, there’s a lot more to landlording than pulling pints.

Just as well, then, that he still has Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald to help him through. Especially now his doctor’s told him he’s got to become a vegetablist …

*along with the whole of the rest of China, apparently

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

So, that went well . . .

The spring barley crop failed.
Just like the oil seed rape.
And the durum wheat.
Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy.
Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger . . .’

Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond go on a seven-day road trip from Venice, Italy, to Pau, France, in this special episode from the BBC motoring series. Along the way the pair visit the Autodromo Nazionale Monza race track and take to the road in Monaco. The show features a range of cars including a Ford Model T, a Ferrari F12 Berlinetta, a Porsche Cayman S and an Aston Martin Vanquish.

Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson

Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden rule:

Whatever you hope will happen, won't.

Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming . . . But he charges by the hour.

Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths.

But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner.

And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . .

Jeremy takes us back to another year of life as a gentleman farmer at Diddly Squat - what could possibly go wrong this time?

Welcome back to Clarkson's farm. At the end of Jeremy's first year, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with profits of £144. And while he's mastered the art of moaning, challenges still abound.

Who knew loading a trailer was more demanding than flying a gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it's easier to get planning permission for a nuclear power station than turning an old barn into a restaurant?

Life on Clarkson's farm may not always go according to plan. But not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it...

Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out _________ Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'. And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it. From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough. Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . . _________ 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Who is that tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer? Has Jeremy turned into a horny-handed son of the soil? These and other perplexing questions may or may not be answered in the latest volume of Clarkson's utterly unbiased musings on life, the universe and everything in between (except cars - this isn't one of his four-wheel drive books). Inside you'll also discover why: * Bathing in crude oil isn't for everyone * People who go fishing hate their kids * Noise-cancelling headphones will never silence James May * The rambler who stole his marrow is in for it Full of fact-checked opinions and ideas so good they're no longer following the science but chasing it up a tree, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? is one hundred per cent guaranteed Clarkson . . . Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Another collection of antics from Clarkson, Hammond and James as they put themselves and their vehicles to the test in the toughest conditions for the 'challenge' slot of the BBC motoring series.

Four volumes of ingenious plans, foolhardy ventures and fuel-injected rivalry from the 'challenge' slot of the BBC motoring series presented by Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond.

The world is an exciting and confusing place for Jeremy Clarkson - a man who can find the overgrown schoolboy in us all.;In The World According to Clarkson, one of the country's funniest comic writers has free reign to expose absurdity, celebrate eccentricity and entertain richly in the process.;And the net is cast wide: from the chronic unsuitablity of men to look after children for long periods or as operators of 'white goods', Nimbyism, cricket and PlayStations, to astronomy, David Beckham, 70's rock, the demise of Concorde, the burden of an Eton education and the shocking failure of Tom Clancy to make it on to the Booker shortlist, The World According to Clarkson is a hilarious snapshot of the life in the 21st century that will have readers wincing with embarrassed recognition and crying with laughter.;It's not about the cars!

Jeremy Clarkson puts the pedal to the floor in Don't Stop Me Now, a collection of his Sunday Times motoring journalism. There's more to life than cars. Jeremy Clarkson knows this. There is, after all, a whole world out there just waiting to be discovered. So, before he gets on to torque steer and active suspension, he takes time out to consider: * The madness of Galapagos tortoises * The similarities between Jeremy Paxman and AC/DC's bass guitarist * The problems and perils of being English * God's dumbest creation Then there are the cars: whether it's the poxiest little runabout or an exotic, firebreathing supercar, no one does cars like Clarkson. Unmoved by mechanics' claims and unimpressed by press junkets, he approaches anything on four wheels without fear or favour. What emerges from the ashes is rarely pretty. But always very, very funny. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm.

At the end of Jeremy's first year in the tractor's driving seat, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with a profit of just GBP144. So, while he's the first to admit that he's still only a 'trainee farmer', there is clearly still work to be done. Because while he's mastered the art of moaning about nearly everything, some of the other attributes required of a successful farmer prove more of a challenge.

Who knew, for instance, that loading a grain trailer was more demanding than flying an Apache gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it would have been easier to get planning permission build a nuclear power station than to turn an old barn into a farm restaurant? But if the council planning department and the local red trouser brigade seem determine to frustrate his schemes at every turn, at least he's got Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald, his dry-stone-walling Head of Security to see him through. And cold beer brewed with spring barley harvested from Diddly Squat's own fields...

Life on Clarkson's Farm may not always go according to plan. There may not always be one. But there's not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it.

Everyone knows that Jeremy Clarkson finds the world a perplexing place - after all, he wrote a bestselling book about it. Yet despite the appearance of The World According To Clarkson, things don't seem to have improved much. However, Jeremy is not someone to give up easily and he's decided to have another go. In And Another Thing, our exasperated hero discovers that: He inadvertently dropped a bomb on North Carolina We're all going to explode at the age of 62 Russians look bad in Speedos. But not as bad as we do. No one should have to worry about being Bill Oddie's long lost sister He should probably be nicer about David Beckham Thigh-slappingly funny and - as ever - in your face, Jeremy Clarkson bursts the pointless little bubbles of the idiots while celebrating the special, the unique and the sheer bloody brilliant ...

Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering: If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Jeremy Clarkson is once more Driven to Distraction. Brace yourself. Clarkson's back. And he'd like to tell you what he thinks about some of the most awe-inspiring, earth-shatteringly fast and jaw-droppingly cool cars in the world (oh, and a few irredeemable disasters...). Or he would if he could just get one or two things off his chest first. Matters such as: * The prospect of having Terry Wogan as president * Why you'll never see a woman driving a Lexus * The unforeseen consequences of inadequate birth control * Why everyone should spend a weekend with a digger Driven to Distraction is Jeremy Clarkson at full throttle. So buckle up, sit tight and enjoy the ride. You're in for a hell of a lot of laughs. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Another collection of antics from Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May as they put themselves and their vehicles to the test for various challenges. This time around, they attempt to make their own train using old cars and caravans, clear the winter snow with combine harvesters, use surplus military hardware in a race against demolition professionals, and much more. Among the cars featured are the Jaguar XJ, the Eagle Speedster and the Range Rover Evoque.

Another expedition for Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. This time around, our intrepid explorers take on the task of finding the source of the Nile in three barely roadworthy estate cars. After surmounting the worst that the local hotels and traffic jams can throw at them, the dynamic trio set off into the heat of the African sun, taking dense forests, the ferocious wildlife, and wheel-sucking mud in their stride - well, almost.

We now know all about the world according to Clarkson. In a series of bestselling books Jeremy has revealed it to be a puzzling, frustrating place where all too often the lunatics seem to be running the asylum. But in The Top Gear Years, we get something rather different. Because ten years ago, at an ex-RAF aerodrome in Surrey, Jeremy and his friends built a world that was rather more to his liking: they called it Top Gear HQ. And Top Gear is for Jeremy what the jungle is for Tarzan: the perfect place to work and play.But they didn't stop there. With this corner of Surrey sorted out, Jeremy and the boys decided to have a crack at the rest of the world. With Top Gear Live charging through with the subtlety of a touring heavy rock band and far flung outposts across the globe from North America to China - an empire of petrol-headed upon which the sun never set.And all along Jeremy was writing about it all. Here, collected between hard covers for the first time, are the fruits of his labours: the cars, the hijinx, the pleasure and the pain. Brilliantly written and laugh out loud funny, The Top Gear Years is Clarkson at his pithy, provocative, hilarious best.

The publication of The World According to Clarkson in 2004 launched a multi-million-copy bestselling phenomenon. But to no avail. Jeremy's one-man war on crimes against common sense has not yet been won. And our hero's still scratching his head at the madness of it all. But it's not all bad. He's learned a little along the way, including: Why binge drinking is good for you The worst word in the English language The remarkable secret of eternal youth The pleasure and pain of middle-aged drumming The problem with America And how to dispose of a seal For anyone who's ever been driven to wonder just what is the matter with people these days, For Crying Out Loud is the perfect riposte. Surprising, fearless and always laugh-out-loud funny, Clarkson's back. And he's got a point . . . Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, the Sunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the associated Kent Newspapers, and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.

JEREMY CLARKSON'S LATEST - AND MOST OUTRAGEOUS - TAKE ON THE WORLD CLARKSON'S BACK - AND THIS TIME HE'S PUTTING HIS FOOT DOWN From his first job as a travelling sales rep selling Paddington Bears to his latest wheeze as a gentleman farmer, Jeremy Clarkson's love of cars has just about kept him out of trouble. But in a persistently infuriating world, sometimes you have to race full-throttle at the speed-bumps. Because there's still plenty to get cross about, including: * Why nothing good ever came out of a meeting * Muesli's unmentionable side effects * Navigating London when every single road is being dug up at once * People who read online reviews of dishwashers * ****ing driverless cars Buckle up for a bumpy ride - you're holding the only book in history to require seatbelts . . . Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: Brilliant . . . Laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . Will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

Jeremy Clarkson gets really riled in Round the Bend. What's it like to drive a car that's actively trying to kill you? This and many other burning questions trouble Jeremy Clarkson as he sets out to explore the world from the safety of four wheels. Avoiding the legions of power-crazed traffic wombles attempting to block highway and byway, he he: * Shows how the world of performance cars may be likened to Battersea Dogs Home * Reveals why St Moritz may be the most bonkers town in all of the world * Reminds us that Switzerland is so afraid of snow that any flakes falling on the road are immediately arrested * Argues that washing a car is a waste of time Funny, globe-trotting, irreverent and sometimes downright rude, Round the Bend is packed with curious and fascinating but otherwise hopelessly useless stories and facts about everything under the sun (and just occasionally cars). It's Jeremy Clarkson at his brilliant best. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

The Top Gear Years brings together Jeremy Clarkson's collected magazine columns for the first time. Clarkson at his pithy, provocative, hilarious best We now know all about the world according to Clarkson. In a series of bestselling books Jeremy has revealed it to be a puzzling, frustrating place where all too often the lunatics seem to be running the asylum. But in The Top Gear Years, we get something rather different. Because ten years ago, at an ex-RAF aerodrome in Surrey, Jeremy and his friends built a world that was rather more to his liking: they called it Top Gear HQ. And Top Gear is for Jeremy what the jungle is for Tarzan: the perfect place to work and play. But they didn't stop there . . . With this corner of Surrey sorted out, Jeremy and the boys decided to have a crack at the rest of the world. With Top Gear Live charging through with the subtlety of a touring heavy rock band and far flung outposts across the globe from North America to China - an empire of petrol-headed upon which the sun never set. And all along Jeremy was writing about it in Top Gear magazine. Here, collected for the first time, are the fruits of his labours: the cars, the hijinx, the pleasure and the pain. Brilliantly written and laugh out loud funny. The Top Gear Years follows Jeremy Clarkson's many bestselling titles including Round the Bend and The World according to Clarkson series. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Jeremy Clarkson is very funny and his well-honed political incorrectness is a joy. .' - Daily Telegraph Jeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, the Sunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the Associated Kent Newspapers and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.

Born to be Riled is a collection of hilarious vintage journalism from Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson, it has to said, sometimes finds the world a maddening place. And nowhere more so than from behind the wheel of a car, where you can see any number of people acting like lunatics while in control (or not) of a ton of metal. In this collection of classic columns, first published in 1999, Jeremy takes a look at the world through his windscreen, shakes his head at what he sees - and then puts the boot in. Among other things, he explains: * Why Surrey is worse than Wales * How crossing your legs in America can lead to arrest * The reason cable TV salesmen must be punched * That divorce can be blamed on the birth of Jesus Raving politicians, pointless celebrities, ridiculous 'personalities' and the Germans all get it in the neck, together with the stupid, the daft and the ludicrous, in a tour de force of comic writing guaranteed to have Jeremy's postman wheezing under sackfuls of letters from the easily offended. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard