Required reading at Harvard Business School and Columbia Business School.
Everyone wants to be more appealing and effective, but few believe we can manage the personal magnetism of a Bill Clinton or an Oprah Winfrey. John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut trace the path to influence through a balance of strength (the root of respect) and warmth (the root of affection). Each seems simple, but only a few of us figure out the tricky task of projecting both at once.
Drawing on cutting-edge social science research as well as their own work with Fortune 500 executives, members of Congress, TED speakers, and Nobel Prize winners, Neffinger and Kohut reveal how we size each other up--and how we can learn to win the admiration, respect, and affection we desire.

Everyone wants to know how to be more influential. But most of us don't really think we can have the kind of magnetism or charisma that we associate with someone like Bill Clinton or Oprah Winfrey unless it comes naturally. Now, in Compelling People, which is already being taught at Harvard and Columbia Business Schools, John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut show that this isn't something we have to be born with-it's something we can learn. Expanding on the themes in their co-authored Harvard Business Review cover story Connect, Then Lead, they trace the path to influence through a balance of strength (the root of respect) and warmth (the root of affection). Each seems simple, but only a few of us figure out the tricky task of projecting both at once. The ability to master this dynamic is so rare that we celebrate and elevate those people who have managed to do it.Drawing on cutting-edge social science research as well as their own work with Fortune 500 executives, members of Congress, TED speakers, and Nobel Prize winners, Neffinger and Kohut reveal: - The common thread connecting Machiavelli and Martin Luther King - The secret technique behind the success of Bill Clinton, Ann Richards and Denzel Washington-one that you can use today - How looks affect our career prospects - The single best strategy for getting someone to agree with you Offering practical advice for a range of common and challenging situations, Compelling People explains how we size each other up-and how we can learn to win the admiration, respect, and affection we desire.