It begins harmlessly. Parents chatting on the playground compare their babies' first milestones: "Has Erin started talking? Addy's already using five-word sentences!" Inevitably, Erin's mom and dad feel anxious. Later, as report cards, standardized tests, tryouts, playoffs, auditions and social cliques fill their child's world, parents' anxiety intensifies. The older kids get, the more competition they face, whether in sports, academics or the arts. Hovering in the background is the race for admission to a top-tier college. To help panicky parents deal with the torrential emotions stirred up by our competitive society, and to give them scientific knowledge about their children's growing years, leading child researcher Wendy Grolnick and educational and parenting journalist Kathy Seal offer this illuminating and accessible guide to channeling competitive anxiety into positive parenting. While evolution has given parents a genetic predisposition toward this protective anxiety whenever their children face today's heightened competition, the authors guide parents to avoid pushing and pressuring, turning their fear instead into calm guidance. Distilling the results of thirty years of research in child psychology, the authors focus on three essential feelings-autonomy, competence, and connectedness-which parents can foster in their children to maximize the child's chances of success and minimize family conflict. They explain that granting kids autonomy lets them feel that they can solve their own problems and are responsible for their own actions. At the same time, providing structure gives kids the guidelines, information, limits, and consequences that they need to act in the world, instilling them with a feeling of competence. Finally, support from adults in the form of time and other resources provides children with a necessary feeling of connection and helps them internalize the ideas and values of their caring parents. Reassuring and empathic, Grolnick and Seal show parents how to avoid the burn-out-in both parents and children-that afflicts so many in our highly competitive society, while raising children who thrive and excel.

A SEASONED EDUCATOR SHOWS YOU HOW TO RAISE AN ENTHUSIASTIC, LIFELONG LEARNER

How do we show our children the great joys of learning? How do we get them to want more?

In the past, parents and educators have offered rewards and threatened punishment. More recently, they have focused on building self-esteem, but the latest research shows that this effort hasn't had a measurable impact in the classroom -- and can even discourage children from learning. Combining years of experience in schools with a thorough survey of current research, Deborah Stipek and Kathy Seal offer this fresh and practical guide to what really works. Packed with strategies for parents of toddlers and elementary school students, Motivated Minds explains how close relationships with adults and feelings of competency and autonomy make children want to learn.

Always engaging and insightful, the authors describe how to create an intellectually enriching home environment for children that will enhance their school experience. They offer practical advice on promoting enthusiasm, academic risk-taking, and persistence, and they give down-to-earth tips for managing difficult issues -- praise, grades, rewards, competition, and performance pressure -- that inevitably arise for schoolchildren and parents. Motivated Minds is a must for any parent wanting to raise a curious, creative, ambitious, and independent child.