"You are not Codependent simply because your adult child is an addict or alcoholic."

All parents of addicted children of any age are terrified, confused, feel out of control, lose sleep, dread the phone calls at 3:00 in the morning.

This book is for parents who are "Afraid to Let Go" because they do not know how to set boundaries with their adult children without feeling crippling anxiety, or walling themselves off to make separation possible.

You can't "let go." You can't "detach with love." You can't let them "hit bottom." You can't seem to implement the strategies you have learned when you are faced with your adult child's chaos and anxiety. When you try to do this, it makes you physically and emotionally ill, and the anxiety and fear becomes unbearable. "Why can't you just "let go"? "

If you are struggling with Codependency, your relationship with your child is not be the only relationship where you experience a loss of self, over-reactivity, adrenalin rushes when you feel "out of control," or behave intrusively or impulsively to "help" in situations even when your assistance has not been requested. If you are Codependent, this is not the first relationship in which you have "over-given" and then felt resentful, or sacrificed yourself to give someone what you decided they "needed" because if you don't, "who will"?

"Afraid to Let Go" explores the developmental origins of Codependency that lead to painful behavioral reactivity in response to our addicted adult children. Afraid to Let Go then connects the chronic stress of the chaos of addiction with adrenal system damage, and points you toward concrete behavioral changes you can make to heal regardless of the sobriety of your adult child. "About the author: "

Mary Crocker Cook, D.Min., LMFT, CADCII is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with extensive experience working with addicted families over the last 20 years. She is the author of ""Awakening Hope. A Developmental, Behavioral and Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment,"" and coordinates the Alcohol and Drug Studies Program at San Jose City College in San Jose, California.

Have you ever wondered what really happens in rehab

Is Codependency Different for Men?

Codependency & Men was written out of curiosity. "Is Codependency experienced differently by men?" "What role does gender play in the way Codependency 'looks' for men?" "Should Codependency treatment be different for men?"

I have treated Codependent men for over two decades. The men in my practice have difficulty resonating with the term "codependency," frequently as a result of the largely female-oriented terminology used to describe it. This led me to wonder if gender role created a resistance to recognition of their condition.

In addition to the early attachment issues that set up relationship challenges, there is the powerful impact of chronic stress on the adrenal system. Again, gender role and gender role stress play a role in a man's self-care and self-abandonment patterns. Detachment from his physical and emotional self can cost him his health and ultimately his life.

Codependency & Men utilizes stories, self-evaluation tools and practical strategies to interrupt and heal patterns that have derailed many men's relationships and recovery attempts for years. Here, at last, is a comprehensive understanding of Codependency specifically for men.

About the Author:

Mary Crocker Cook, D.Min., LMFT, LAADC, CADCII has over 20 years experience providing counseling to addicts and their families through Connections Counseling Associates in San Jose, CA. She is the developer and coordinator of the San Jose City College Alcohol and Drug Studies program and is an adjunct Instructor with JFK University.

Mary is the author of Awakening Hope. A Developmental, Behavioral, Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment and Afraid to Let Go. For Parents of Adult Addicts and Alcoholics.

New Evolution in Codependency Treatment This book speaks to the need for an evolving treatment approach to a serious disorder that has previously been primarily addressed from a behavioral perspective. Awakening Hope is based on the premise that Codependency stems from early attachment disruptions, leading to ongoing anxious and avoidant attachment styles. These styles create a series of defensive behaviors in response to a foundational distrust of attachment that pervades every relationship. The frequent perceptions of attachment threat can lead to serious depletion of the adrenal system, and results in systemic and chronic illness. You will discover: Explanations for lifelong patterns of anxiety in relationships that are grounded in research and clinical experience. Long established behavior patterns in relationships will "make sense" and you will have access to a clear path for change. The physical consequences of these long term patterns, and clearly see the connections between your anxious or avoidant codependent behaviors and physical illnesses that compromise your quality of life. A clear structure for treatment planning and relapse prevention planning is provided for personal use and clinical use by therapist treating codependent clients. The Author: Mary Crocker Cook, D.Min., LMFT, CADCII is a licensed Marriage and Family Counselor with Connections Counseling Associates in San Jose, California. She has a doctorate in Interfaith Ministry, and is a certified Alcohol and Drug counselor. Most importantly, Mary has spent the last 20 years of her life teaching "Codependency and Family Dynamics" at San Jose City College, and has over 20 years of personal Al-Anon recovery.