Establishing and maintaining a meaningful, satisfying, and enduring intimate relationship can be elusive for many people. Time and again, they are drawn to lovers with whom the relationship is futile, ending with hurt feelings and regrets. In this work, Nina Brown shares her longtime experience as a professional counselor to help those who ask: Why do I keep picking unsuitable lovers? Brown calls them dead-end lovers, and in this work she shows us, not only how to spot them early and avoid them, but also what it is--what psychological needs we have --that attracts us to them.

Guided by decades of counseling those with relationship problems, Brown includes 17 clear signals of unsuitability, and tells us how to spot the five types of unsuitable lovers: Hurting and Needy, Risk-Taking and Rebellious, Charming and Manipulative, Self-absorbed, or Exotic and Different. To help us understand why we are drawn to them, she explains the personal psychological lures and attractions we may have--from Being a Saver, to Searching for Excitement, Craving Attention and Admiration, Finding a Mirror, and Rebellion against Convention. She also explains why entering into a relationship expecting to change another person is most often just an exercise in futility.

Perhaps most important, Brown details how we can move ahead and find true intimacy by pinpointing the components of a satisfying and meaningful intimate relationship, increasing interpersonal effectiveness, strengthening our psychological boundaries, resisting lures, managing emotions, and becoming aware of potential personal romantic illusions.

For all of us forced to deal with an infuriating, mean, critical person, seasoned counselor Nina Brown has a word of warning. "You must accept that your usual coping strategies are not effective, and will not be effective, with this person," she advises. "You cannot expect them to react and behave as adults." So what's a victim to do? Start with the suggestions in this book. In Coping with Infuriating, Mean, Critical People, Brown explains why many people, who may not display all of the characteristics necessary for a formal, full-blown narcissist diagnosis, still display what she calls a "destructive narcissistic pattern" that results in much the same anguish for those with whom the individual interacts. Thankfully, she also provides specific methods that will help victims of this behavior deal with the narcissistic colleague, supervisor or boss, parent, or intimate other. Only the extremely lucky among us have never faced or felt the effects of narcissistic behaviors and attitudes, displayed by colleagues, bosses, friends, parents, or lovers. These individuals may boast and brag constantly, take credit for other people's work, expect favors but return few or none, never listen (but always know all the answers), be sure of what is right and best regardless of the topic. They devalue others, micromanage, are hypercritical and mistrustful. Other characteristics of this harmful personality include an inflated sense of importance, although achievements are exaggerated and actual outcomes don't support feelings of superiority. They are exploitative, without empathy, and believe they are envied by all. Brown's excellent advice will help you cope.

This book identifies the behaviors and attitudes reflective of excessive self-interest and self-centered people and provides a framework for reducing the negative effects that these individuals have on their family, friends, and colleagues. This book will guide readers to understand the various indices of observable and destructive narcissistic behaviors and attitudes that are exhibited in everyday interactions with self-inflated people, focusing on the larger societal impacts of those behaviors. Further, the text makes suggestions for effectively managing the negative impact of the Destructive Narcissistic Pattern (DNP), which includes such attributes as anger and shame, and instructs readers how to grow and develop Healthy Adult Narcissism (HAN) consisting of empathy, wisdom, humor, and zest. This book differs from others on the same topic by illustrating the various ways that excessive self-esteem is portrayed in the media as well as presenting the perspective that there are many different ways to exhibit the varied self-inflated, self-centered behaviors and attitudes in everyday adult behaviors and relationships. By the end, this text aims to encourage healthy valuations of self and others that create a sense of purpose; personal satisfaction; and enduring, meaningful relationships. Describes the many ways that self-inflated, self-absorbed people present themselves to others Identifies how self-inflated behaviors and attitudes negatively impact others and provides coping strategies that aim to prevent harm Increases awareness of hidden personal self-inflated behaviors and attitudes and gives recommendations for how to best manage and overcome them Guides the reader towards a more balanced, centered, and resilient self

Dealing with uptight, high-stress people in your workplace, family, or home can be an enormous challenge, but this book provides invaluable insight and practical advice enabling readers to handle these "problem" personality types successfully. It is often stated that communication is the most important aspect of creating an effective relationship or achieving goals when working with another individual or within a team. But how does one communicate with someone who is too intense, anxious, or self-absorbed to hear anything you're trying to say? In Uptight and In Your Face: Coping with an Anxious Boss, Parent, Spouse, or Lover the author presents an invaluable tutorial to successfully interact with the most frustrating and taxing people in your life. This text examines the five most common types of uptight people to illustrate how the underlying patterns of intensity, anxiety, and self-absorption are displayed. Considerable attention is given to help readers understand how they may be contributing to their own distress. The final chapters present numerous coping and self-development strategies that will help reduce or eliminate many of the detrimental effects of interacting with high-stress people. Descriptions of complex psychological concepts are explained in everyday language.

Focusing on theory and therapeutic factors and applications, this work will provide group leaders and counselors working with children with a conceptual basis and specific strategies for use in therapy, counseling, and therapeutic groups. It proposes that groups be formed around themes of condition (such as loss), rather than themes of circumstance (such as divorce). Forming the group, leader characteristics, and the expression of feelings and emotions are emphasized by the author. This work will be of interest to all mental health professionals working with children--school counselors, social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists.

Horton-Parker and Brown seek to prepare counselors-in-training to better understand personal growth and self development. Their approach is designed to guide readers to better self-understanding through reviews of prevailing theory and through a series of exercises. Each chapter presents one or more exercises designed to allow the reader an opportunity to explore his/her personal development and to become aware of any unfinished and/or unresolved business that could emerge as countertransference with clients.

The basic theories of psychological growth and development--moral, cognitive, and gender identity--are examined under the stages of development throughout the life span. The specialized theories for the different stages, such as childhood and adolescence, are presented along with counseling applications for that specific stage. Readers are provided with numerous examples of how to use this information to better help clients. Other unique features include material on becoming a culturally sensitive counselor and an explanation of object-relations and self-psychology theories. Of particular interest to researchers and students involved with counseling issues.

The second edition of Creative Activities for Group Therapy focuses on evidence-based alternatives for verbal expression in group therapy, which provides group leaders with innovative inspirational tools, techniques, and intervention strategies to address dilemmas and difficult situations and help encourage members' self-exploration and self-disclosure. Newly organized into three categories, the book covers group basics and fundamentals, categories for activities, and a new section on diverse settings, conditions, and applications. The first section outlines use of activities, benefits to groups, and tips for effective and safe use of creative activities. Section two covers a range of creative activities for leaders to implement, such as art therapies, movement therapies, writing therapy, and includes new activities for virtual sessions. The new section then addresses activities for diverse settings such as groups in hospitals and prisons, various medical conditions and psychological states, and inclusive applications that minimize group conflict and promote emotional expression. This new edition provides mental health professionals and students, including therapists, counselors, and clinical social workers, with a wide array of methods for enriching their therapy groups and tools for implementing these activities.

The second edition of Creative Activities for Group Therapy focuses on evidence-based alternatives for verbal expression in group therapy, which provides group leaders with innovative inspirational tools, techniques, and intervention strategies to address dilemmas and difficult situations and help encourage members' self-exploration and self-disclosure. Newly organized into three categories, the book covers group basics and fundamentals, categories for activities, and a new section on diverse settings, conditions, and applications. The first section outlines use of activities, benefits to groups, and tips for effective and safe use of creative activities. Section two covers a range of creative activities for leaders to implement, such as art therapies, movement therapies, writing therapy, and includes new activities for virtual sessions. The new section then addresses activities for diverse settings such as groups in hospitals and prisons, various medical conditions and psychological states, and inclusive applications that minimize group conflict and promote emotional expression. This new edition provides mental health professionals and students, including therapists, counselors, and clinical social workers, with a wide array of methods for enriching their therapy groups and tools for implementing these activities.

Conducting Effective and Productive Psychoeducational and Therapy Groups offers a four-part structure designed to prepare future and beginning group leaders for the challenges that lie ahead: Getting Started, Encouraging Productivity, Troubleshooting/Problem Solving, and Closures. Along the way, readers will find practical, step-by-step instructions and guidance; activities to promote involvement, growth, and self-understanding; as well as processes and procedures to prevent and resolve difficult behaviors. Also included are 40+ activities, a typology of difficult member profiles, strategies to increase leader effectiveness, and a chapter on toxicity among groups as well as group members.

Wetzel and Brown examine the extent to which student-to-student sexual harassment exists in secondary schools today. They provide evidence that student sexual harassment is not only currently widespread, it is also unconsciously and consciously condoned by school authorities who are charged with providing a safe and effective educational environment.

After reviewing the state of sexual harassment in American high schools, the authors provide the best practices for increasing awareness of what behaviors constitute sexual harassment as well as alert readers to the negative impact on both boys and girls, where sexual harassment is most likely to take place, and ways students can become more socially adept. A template for developing a school district policy is presented as are strategies for educating and dissemination. Practical and specific strategies for parents, teachers, and students are presented in detail.

With this 4th edition, Psychoeducational Groups remains the only comprehensive, user-friendly guide to planning, implementing, facilitating, and evaluating psychoeducational groups. The 4th edition expands the discussions about group leaders' knowledge base, self-development, and techniques; best practices for group facilitation; and effective uses for group therapeutic factors. Substantial new material includes templates, scripts, and sample forms; suggestions for leader interventions for group and individual issues and difficulties; a social media policy; and the effectiveness of manualized and cyber/virtual groups.

Groups-like the people in them-come in all forms, and often they don't fit a standard mold. Single-session, leaderless, and open groups are three of the most common kinds of nonstandard groups, but participants and facilitators of these kinds of groups have few, if any, resources at their disposal when they try to confront the unique challenges that their group structures present. Facilitating Challenging Groups confronts these challenges head on and offers activities, tools, tips, and techniques vital to everyone from the smallest self-help group to the largest human-relations training session. Readers will come away from this book with a deep understanding of each group's unique needs, the leader's role where applicable, and concrete strategies for developing the two traits most important to any successful group: universality and hope.

Groups-like the people in them-come in all forms, and often they don't fit a standard mold. Single-session, leaderless, and open groups are three of the most common kinds of nonstandard groups, but participants and facilitators of these kinds of groups have few, if any, resources at their disposal when they try to confront the unique challenges that their group structures present. Facilitating Challenging Groups confronts these challenges head on and offers activities, tools, tips, and techniques vital to everyone from the smallest self-help group to the largest human-relations training session. Readers will come away from this book with a deep understanding of each group's unique needs, the leader's role where applicable, and concrete strategies for developing the two traits most important to any successful group: universality and hope.

This volume concentrates on teaching group dynamics with an experiential, process focus. The procedure for instruction seeks to provide an integration of cognitive and affective components in learning how to tune into, and effectively use, group dynamics. Instructors and supervisors are provided with specific techniques for helping students understand manifestations of resistance, countertransference issues, assuming a process orientation, and dealing with both individual and group-as-a-whole concerns. Immensely practical and classroom tested.

Chapter 1 provides an overview and a discussion of ethical principles in group work. Chapter 2 focuses on how to structure the class, including a systematic method for monitoring group sessions, providing feedback to students, and addressing specific ethical concerns such as confidentiality and involuntary group membership. Chapter 3 develops the importance, and a process for, helping students to stay present-centered, keeping the group in a here-and-now focus, and how to recognize process. Chapter 4 presents the barriers to self-awareness and group process. Chapter 5 addresses how developing trust and cohesion in groups leads to therapeutic work on significant issues for group members. Chapter 6 describes the link between what is taking place in the present-centered group session and the past. Chapter 7 focuses on the roles that group members assume and the impact these roles may have on the progress and functioning of the group. Chapter 8 deals with teaching students to recognize and deal with overt and covert conflict in the group. Chapter 9 provides an introduction to the use of expressive techniques in groups. Chapter 10 presents specific exercises that are useful in teaching concepts, ranging from get-acquainted exercises to more complex ones for uncovering the self.

Provides easily implemented interventions and coping strategies for dealing with the worrier, complainer, nagger, or micromanager in your life. Normal anxiety is a coping mechanism and can be helpful at times, but when it becomes excessive it is troubling to the person who experiences it and to those who interact with them on a regular basis. In this book, author Nina W. Brown explains that the anxiety at issue here is not pathological but nevertheless can be dysfunctional to that person and others. A professor and eminent scholar, Brown focuses on four categories of everyday anxious people and explains some effective approaches we can take when interacting with these worriers, complainers, micromanagers, and naggers. She also helps readers to understand how their own personalities can contribute to the reactions of a highly anxious person, how readers can build their psychological boundaries to keep themselves from being pulled into the anxious state, and how they can model more effective ways to behave and relate. The book is intended for readers who have an anxious person in their lives. In addition, students and scholars in psychology, counseling, and social work will find this text valuable as a training resource.

The destructive narcissistic pattern (DNP) is a term used to describe a constellation of characteristics generally associated with pathological narcissism, but which are fewer and less severe. Nonetheless, these characteristics negatively impact relationships. The destructive narcisist's typical interaction produces negative reactions in others. For example, the individual devalues others, lacks empathy, has a sense of entitlement, and is emotionally shallow. He may function very well and be successful economically, but is unable to form and maintain stable relationships, as evidenced by numerous partners or marriages. The DNP, Brown asserts, is often unrecognized. Although others may find him frustrating and difficult, the individual with DNP can be charming when charm is perceived to be to his benefit. In addition to identifying destructive narcissism, Brown provides strategies to help the reader moderate or eliminate the impact of these destructive narcissistic behaviors, feelings, and attitudes. Attention is given to understanding projection, projective identification, and identification as well as how those processes trigger reactions. This book will be an important tool for counselors, psychologists, clinical social workers, and other mental health professionals, and students in these fields.

Professor Brown provides a resource for clinicians, instructors, and students interested in promoting group process and progress, increasing group members' self-awareness and self-understanding, and strategies for resolving individual and group difficult behaviors. It presents art, imagery, dreams, guided writing, fairy tales, and movement exercises together with theory and literature reviews underlying each. Professor Brown examines the underlying assumptions for using expressive processes in group counseling and provides applications to promote group development, foster individual and group learning, and instruct group leaders. About half the book is devoted to theory, cultural and diversity issues, ethnical considerations, and guidelines for use. The other half presents art, imagery, dreams, guided writing, fairy tales, and movement applications together with relevant literature reviews and specific strategies. Brown provides a comprehensive and integrated approach to understanding and using expressive processes in groups. As such the book will be of value to clinicians, instructors, and students in psychology interested in promoting group process and progress.

Do you have a self-absorbed or narcissistic parent who's made you feel rejected, unloved, or unworthy? Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This fully revised and updated edition of a self-help classic offers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent. Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognise their effects on your relationships. Packed with proven techniques, you'll realise that you're not helpless against your parent's behaviour, and that you don't have to give up on the relationship. Instead, you'll find realistic strategies and steps for setting up mutually agreed upon behaviours, so you can fulfil your own emotional needs. In this new edition, you'll discover: *Skills for managing intense emotions *Tools for building character, self-esteem and self-acceptance *How kindness and gratitude can promote self-healing *How to build trust and empathy with others If you're ready to begin healing from the pain of growing up with a self-absorbed parent and establish the boundaries you need to thrive - this book will guide you, one step at a time.

Conducting Effective and Productive Psychoeducational and Therapy Groups offers a four-part structure designed to prepare future and beginning group leaders for the challenges that lie ahead: Getting Started, Encouraging Productivity, Troubleshooting/Problem Solving, and Closures. Along the way, readers will find practical, step-by-step instructions and guidance; activities to promote involvement, growth, and self-understanding; as well as processes and procedures to prevent and resolve difficult behaviors. Also included are 40+ activities, a typology of difficult member profiles, strategies to increase leader effectiveness, and a chapter on toxicity among groups as well as group members.

With this 4th edition, Psychoeducational Groups remains the only comprehensive, user-friendly guide to planning, implementing, facilitating, and evaluating psychoeducational groups. The 4th edition expands the discussions about group leaders' knowledge base, self-development, and techniques; best practices for group facilitation; and effective uses for group therapeutic factors. Substantial new material includes templates, scripts, and sample forms; suggestions for leader interventions for group and individual issues and difficulties; a social media policy; and the effectiveness of manualized and cyber/virtual groups.

As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. In the tradition of Children of the Self-Absorbed, author Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent. In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. You'll also learn to reduce the the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through. Audio downloads are included.

Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. From the author of "Working with the Self-Absorbed and Loving the Self-Absorbed", this major revision of a self-help classic offers readers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent."Children of the Self-Absorbed, Second Edition", offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help readers identify the extent of their parent's problem. Readers learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, readers are assured that they are not helpless against their parent's behavior, and that they needn't consider giving up on the relationship. Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help fulfill the needs and expectations of both readers and their parents.

Horton-Parker and Brown seek to prepare counselors-in-training to better understand personal growth and self development. Their approach is designed to guide readers to better self-understanding through reviews of prevailing theory and through a series of exercises. Each chapter presents one or more exercises designed to allow the reader an opportunity to explore his/her personal development and to become aware of any unfinished and/or unresolved business that could emerge as countertransference with clients.

The basic theories of psychological growth and development--moral, cognitive, and gender identity--are examined under the stages of development throughout the life span. The specialized theories for the different stages, such as childhood and adolescence, are presented along with counseling applications for that specific stage. Readers are provided with numerous examples of how to use this information to better help clients. Other unique features include material on becoming a culturally sensitive counselor and an explanation of object-relations and self-psychology theories. Of particular interest to researchers and students involved with counseling issues.